Her by Felicia Johnson Read Free Book Online

Mom. 
    “Mom? Where are Nick and Alison?” I asked.
    Mom said, “They are with their aunt and uncle.”
     
    I shuddered as I thought about what that meant.  A sharp pain went through my chest.  Jonathan Sr. and Mariah were Nick and Alison’s aunt and uncle. Mom hadn’t cut ties with them, even after she and Jack had divorced.  It was nice of them to look after my brother and sister while Mom couldn’t.  It just meant that they knew.  If they knew, then John knew.  If John knew, then Lexus knew.
    Something landed on my lap.  I looked down.  It was a hospital gown.  I looked back up.  Another nurse had come in and tossed it to me.  Nurse Habersham was still there. She was talking to Mom now and showing her out the door.  I was confused as to what was going on.
    “I need you to take off all of your clothes except your underwear, and put that gown on,” the new nurse said kindly.  “I’ll be back.”  She stepped out of the room.
    I changed out of my clothes, feeling strange.  When I was in the gown and out of my clothes, I sat and waited for the nurse to come back in.  She had great timing.  She came back in with my chart, a pen, and she was wearing a pair of elastic gloves. 
    She asked me a bunch of questions.  “Any stomach aches?  Headaches? Do you have asthma? Kidney problems? Vomiting? Diarrhea?  
    I shook my head no to all of the above. Then she stood up.  “I’m going to examine you quickly for any scars or wounds that you have coming in here, and I’ll also check your vitals.  When I am finished, you can put your clothes back on.”
    I stood up.  She stood before me and raised my arms.  She pressed on my tummy, my ribs, and my abdomen.  I couldn’t help but giggle.  She somehow made it tickle.  It was funny how she and the doctor were the only ones since Dad who could make me ticklish. They were the only ones who seemed to have that magic, ticklish touch.  They knew exactly where to find that spot on my tummy where I was hiding the rest of the little girl that was left inside of me. 
    I wondered how much of that little girl was left inside of me.  Things seemed to happen so fast in life.  I’d lost so much time.  I had to keep finding the way to make myself deal with things instead of going to Mommy and Dad to help.  Dad wasn’t there. There was only Jack.  The monster had made me too scared.  Mom had been blinded by darkness, and I couldn’t reach her without any light.  It didn’t seem like there would ever be any light.
     
    The nurse continued to search me from head to toe.  I saw her face as she saw all of my old scars.  Her face sank in sadness.  I remembered where most of the scars had come from, and how I’d been too angry with myself to leave my room sometimes. I’d taken a piece of something sharp, like the back of my earring, and had scraped it hard onto my skin until it had bled or until the pain had been so thick and satisfying that I could stop.  My breathing had been so hard and heavy from my head pounding.  I’d felt my heart beat in my brain.  I’d sucked in the atmosphere and accepted my punishment for being alive and having to be there.  Sometimes I’d even completely forgotten why I had done it in the first place. 
    The nurse finally finished poking at me.  She listened to my breathing through a stethoscope and then she wanted me to drop my gown.  Nervously, I did what she asked.  There I stood, in nothing but my cotton, white underwear.  She did another search of my legs, back, chest, and arms.  She seemed to be counting under her breath.  She asked me how old some of the fresher looking scars were.  She even asked how some of them got there.  I wanted her to take a wild guess.  She knew, but she was being like Dr. Cuvo, trying to make me think about it. 
    She stretched out my arms and squeezed my heavily bandaged wrists.  I shuddered in pain.  “Oh, I’m so sorry,” she apologized.  Then she stopped and looked at