Her Heart's Secret Wish by Juliana Haygert Read Free Book Online

end—”
    “Natasha, I’m—”
    “No, let me finish it. I need to. I need you to hear this.”
    He crossed his arms, his lips a thin line, his brows creased. “Okay.”
    “I ended up sleeping with guys I barely knew, so I wouldn’t be alone in my apartment. I ignored the dirty feeling I was left with afterward. It was better than feeling alone again. At least, I thought so.” She wiped a tear away. “Then, I met Fallon. I pushed her away at first, of course, but she knew exactly which buttons to press and how to reach through the wall I had created around myself, as she likes to say.” She grinned, remembering her too-educated-but-stubborn best friend. “She understood me right away and, though she didn’t agree, didn’t judge my actions either. After my roommate entered my life, I didn’t feel so alone anymore, and the partying and the sleeping around happened less frequently. By then my reputation was already widely known, but it didn’t really bother me, so I didn’t do anything to change it. Until you came.” She wanted to step closer to him, to earn his understanding, but she remained glued to her spot, afraid of scaring him more. “I guess I wasn’t prepared to befriend a professor who likes gaming and is basically a nerd inside a hot body.” Despite herself, she smiled. “Neither was I prepared to like him. But I did, almost instantly. Like Fallon, it didn’t take long for him to find out how to climb the walls I’d erected around myself. And since a night at the library where I talked to him for over five hours I figured out what was happening. We sat on the floor, very close to each other, you see. I was very aware of him, of his body, of his breathing, of his mouth. Well, since that night seven months ago, I haven’t slept with any other guy, even when I felt so terribly alone I had to cry myself to sleep.” She wiped another tear from her cheek. “Being with other guys didn’t feel right. Not that it ever did. But now, every time a guy approaches me with an all-I-want-is-sex face, I long for someone else, not just for a time away from my loneliness. And—”
    “Natasha,” he whispered, and she froze, his tone too severe. “Just stop talking.” In two wide strides, he closed the distance between them and covered her mouth with his. His hands snaked around her, pulling her close to him.
    She took a sharp inhale, too shocked to move, but savored his sweet scent, letting it impregnate her senses. His soft, warm mouth moving against hers was too alluring, and she opened herself to him. Jason kissed her long and hard, and she matched every beat.
    Moments later, in need of air, she pulled back, but his strong grip held her in place, her body against his, and he lowered his forehead to hers.
    “I had no idea. I’m so sorry for everything you suffered,” he said, his voice low but steady.
    “I didn’t want anyone to know.” She ran a hand over his hair like she had imagined doing earlier. “Well, I still don’t. But you’re not anyone.” Suddenly, she stiffened, and he loosened his grip. “Why did you leave last night? I’m guessing it was because of my reputation.”
    He sighed. “I guess that was one of the reasons, probably the main one. I didn’t want to have just a one-night stand. Not with you. But there was more. There is more.” He caressed her cheek with his fingertips. “I’m your professor. The university can’t know I’m even looking at you in a romantic way. They will fire me and probably suspend you, or worse.”
    “I understand. But I have one question for you.” She pulled back some more, to gaze into his eyes. “Forget the university, forget the rules. If you can, forget about my rep, too. Do you want to be with me?”
    The hint of a smile curved his lips up. “Come here.” He grabbed her hand and dragged her inside the building, and she mentally thanked him for getting out of the cold. “Close your eyes.”
    “Why? And you didn’t answer my