handsome
young buck like you holding her hand isn’t going anywhere if she can help it.”
Dean
appreciated Marjorie’s sentiment, and he managed a small smile of thanks in her
direction. Misunderstanding which part had triggered it, she patted him gently
on the shoulder and continued. “She knows she’s not in this alone. I’m sure she
knows how much you love her.”
She
stepped out quickly to leave them alone together. Closing the hospital room
door behind her, she saw the young man put a hand to his eye. Men, she thought,
all alike, don’t know what a good thing they have until they think they might
lose it. Then, of course, they’re bigger babies than they know.
Dry-eyed
and empty for hours, Dean now felt in full force all the emotion of the day.
After Marjorie left, he sat next to the bed, held the girl’s hand, and wept
like a child.
****
As sometimes
happens coming out of a deep sleep, she was aware of noises before she was
aware of sights. She heard a high-pitched but very quiet beeping. It was
machine-like but soothingly regular, like a mechanized heartbeat. After
listening for a few seconds, she opened her eyes. The ceiling tiles of the room
were ugly and industrial. It was rather dark, as if to encourage sleep. It had
obviously worked on him, she thought, becoming vaguely aware of another person
in the room. She took a breath. She was lying on a bed with metal rails around
it. A man was asleep sitting up in a chair off to one side. She could hear him
snoring very softly. On her other side, a large and complicated-looking
machine, or several small, square machines stacked together, she couldn’t be
sure, was making the quiet beeping noise.
Where was
she? She had to stop and think about the answer. A bed, a chair, machines. She
noticed an IV in the back of her right hand. This was a hospital. What the hell
was she doing in a hospital?
She tried to
think of the last thing she could remember before waking up here, and drew a
complete blank. Feeling a tiny tinge of panic up the back of her neck, she took
in a deep, steadying breath. Okay, think, she thought. Where were you before
this room? She had no idea, as if this room was the only thing she had ever
known.
Well, that is
ridiculous, she thought. This is a hospital room, you know that because
presumably you have seen rooms that are not hospital rooms and therefore have a
frame of reference. She recognized the logic in her own argument, and pushed a
step further. What other rooms have you seen? Blankness. She had a nagging
sensation that she would recognize other rooms if she saw them, but for the
moment could not picture anything else. The panic was creeping up again.
Setting aside
the metaphysical dilemma of room recognition, she tried to turn her thoughts
outward. Okay, it was night, she knew that. She had been asleep in this
hospital bed. She could hear noises outside the room, down what she imagined
was a long hallway. That would probably be hospital staff. She could also hear
sounds from outside. Cars on the road. See that, the logical part of her brain
declared in triumph, you know about cars and roads, so you have definitely been
outside of this room. Shut up, the panicky part retorted.
She turned
again to the other person in the room, and her panic subsided a little. Maybe
it was just the awareness that she was not alone in this place, but she found
his presence oddly comforting. The man in the chair was youngish; he had short
blonde hair flecked with tawny brown, and handsome features with just the
tiniest trace of a five o’clock shadow. He had a very attractive face, she
thought, despite an annoying inability to call to mind any other faces with
which to compare it. In blue jeans and a white t-shirt, he didn’t look like what
she imagined hospital staff to look like. Also, he was asleep, so probably not
working here. A