His Until Midnight by Nikki Logan Read Free Book Online Page B

turned toward the restaurant’s exit. Remaining courses, be damned.
    ‘Audrey—’ His heavy hand curled around her upper arm. ‘Stop.’
    She did, but only because she’d made quite enough of a scene for one lifetime. And this was going to be the last memory of her he had; she didn’t want it to be hysterical.
    ‘I think I should explain—’
    ‘You don’t owe me an explanation, Oliver. That’s what makes this whole situation so ridiculous. You owe me nothing.’
    He wasn’t hers to have expectations of. He wasn’t even her husband’s friend any more. He was just an acquaintance. A circumstantial friend.
    At best.
    ‘I wanted to be there, Audrey. For you. But I knew what would have happened if I’d flown in.’ He took her hands in his and held them gently between them. ‘You and I would have ended up somewhere quiet, nursing a generous drink and a bunch of stories long after everyone else had gone home, and you would have been exhausted and strung out and heartbroken.’ She dipped her head and he had to duck his to keep up eye contact. ‘And seeing that would have broken my heart. I would have taken you into my arms to give you support and make all the pain just vanish—’ he took a deep breath ‘—and we would have ended up in bed.’
    Her eyes shot back up. ‘That wouldn’t have happened—’
    His hands twisted more firmly around hers, but not to hold her close. He used the leverage to push her gently away from him. ‘It would have happened because I’m a heartbeat and some sorely tested willpower from doing it right now. I want you in my arms, Audrey. I want you in my bed. And it has nothing to do with Blake being gone because I’ve wanted the same thing each Christmas for the last five years.’
    Every muscle in her body tensed up and he knew it.
    Amazing, excruciating seconds passed.
    ‘But that’s not who we are,’ he went on. ‘I know that. Reducing what we have to the lowest common denominator might be physically rewarding but it’s not what our... thing ...is worth. And so what we’re left with is this awkward...awareness.’
    Awareness. So he felt it, too. But it wasn’t just awkward, it was awful. Because she suddenly got the sense that it made Oliver as uncomfortable as it made her. Not expressing it, just...feeling it.
    ‘I value your friendship, Audrey. I value your opinion and your perception and your judgement. I get excited coming up here in the elevator because I know I’m going to be seeing you and spending a day with you picking through your brilliant mind. The only day I get all year. I’m not about to screw that up by hitting on you.’
    Oh. A small part of her sagged. But was it relief or disappointment? ‘I’m so sorry.’
    ‘Why?’
    The blood must have returned to her face if she could still blush. ‘Because it’s such a cliché.’
    ‘It’s flattering. The fact that a woman I value so highly finds things in me to value in return is...validating. Thank you.’
    ‘Don’t thank me.’ That was just a little bit too close to patronising.
    ‘Okay. I’ll just be silently smug about it instead.’
    The fact that she could still laugh, despite everything...Yet, sure enough, the sound chuffed out of her. ‘That seems more like you.’
    They stood, nothing between them but air. And an emotional gulf as wide as the harbour.
    ‘So now what?’
    He considered her and then shook his seriousness free. ‘Now we move on to the third course.’

SIX
    Pineapple, hops, green tomato served in Brazil-nut-coated clusters
    Did the earth lurch on its axis between courses for the rest of Qīngtíng’s chic clientele? None of them looked overly perturbed. Maybe this building was constructed to withstand earth tremors.
    Because Oliver’s entire existence had just shifted.
    The two of them retreated to silence and polite smiles as a stack of curious, bite-size parcels were placed before them and the waiter announced in his accented English, ‘Pineapple and green tomato