Honeybath's Haven by Michael Innes Read Free Book Online

intricate study in themselves, do they not? Have you ever thought, by the way, of specializing in those that came to be employed in duelling? Do you run to a main gauche ?’
    â€˜I haven’t even heard of it. And you are mistaken, Mr Gaunt, in supposing that I…’
    â€˜It was, of course, named from the fact that it was held in the left hand and used for parrying. I lately acquired a specimen with a toothed edge on which the adversary’s sword could be caught and broken. But in the main, I confess, I have of late been working mainly in the field of offensive weapons. Hyper-offensive weapons, indeed, if the term is an admissible one. They exert a peculiar fascination over me. The dagger with the poison-channel, as perfected in Mantua: there is great scope there. And the amazing ingenuity so often employed in inventing blades capable of inflicting particularly awkward lacerations. I have read that the poet Browning was an enthusiastic devotee of these.’
    Honeybath felt disposed to say, ‘But the painter Honeybath is not.’ He reflected, however, that this might be (at least metaphorically) wounding, and that Mr Gaunt’s hobbyhorse was entirely innocent. Moreover, it looked as if they might be destined at least to pass the time of day for the remainder of their joint lives. So he held his peace while being shown several more lethal objects which had been knocked down to his companion the day before. The total sum of money that had thereby passed through Messrs Sotheby’s hands must have been very considerable. But then Hanwell Court was far from being any refuge for genteel indigence. What it was a refuge for, Honeybath was beginning to feel he hadn’t been quite adequately informed. Was Colonel Dacre more careless than a military man ought to be of the conditions under which he fired off his rifle? Had Admiral Emery perished on the instant, like poor Admiral Byng on his quarter-deck at Portsmouth? Was Lady Munden really provided with lavish facilities for treating bits of seaweed as if they were dahlias or sweet peas? Was his new acquaintance Mr Gaunt any more to be trusted with firearms (or even misérecordes and mains gauches ) than his fellow-inmate the colonel? Honeybath decided to seek cautious enlightenment on these matters. So in a pause after Mr Gaunt had finished expounding the operation of something called a bouche à feu he ventured on a change of subject.
    â€˜Would it be impertinent,’ he asked, ‘to inquire what directed your interest to Hanwell Court in the first place?’
    â€˜Ah, that was a matter of my trustees.’ Mr Gaunt was clearly not offended. ‘For some years I have found it convenient to have my financial affairs, and so forth, conducted by persons of that sort. And I am fortunate enough to have very reliable trustees. After comparing notes with a number of our residents I have come to the conclusion that I am very fortunate indeed. By no means all are as satisfied as I am.’
    â€˜I am sorry to hear that. Troublesome trustees must be extremely vexatious.’ Honeybath paused on this sympathetic note. ‘Lady Munden, for example,’ he said at a venture. ‘Does she not get on too well with hers?’
    â€˜She is far from pleased with them. I think I may say – strictly in confidence, Mr Honeybath – that the seaweed has to be described as an inexpensive second-best. Lady Munden had formed the project, the wholly laudable project, of purchasing a substantial stretch of the park at Hanwell and constituting it a reserve for threatened indigenous fauna. She was simply told that the money wasn’t there.’ Mr Gaunt shook his head in a sombre fashion. ‘Incredible as it may seem, that is what her trustees told her. She then offered to throw the enterprise open to the public for an appropriate fee, and declared herself willing to sit in person at a turnstile and collect the cash. She had made the