Hope Breaks: A New Adult Romantic Comedy by Alice Bello, Stephanie T. Lott Read Free Book Online

Texan.”
    “Sorry to have doubted you.  Go full on caveman.  I promise not to think of you probably watching the Oprah Network on your days off.”
    He shot me a fake glower.
    “And crying when she sends some little girls to college.”
    “I can always go out there and remove that starter.  That’ll show you how manly I am.”
    “Okay, okay…,” I conceded. “You’re the man.”
    He speared a big, green piece of broccoli with his fork and then daintily dipped in into my side of queso before plopping it into his mouth.  “And don’t you forget it!” he said in mid-chew.
    “So besides being an old friend of my brother, and the son and brother of my two high school nemeses, what other pertinent info don’t I know?”  I gave him my hardest glare.  “You don’t live on my block, do you?  Because that would just be too weird.”
    “Is that how you say that?”  he wise-assed, taking another big bite of steak.  “And no, I live on the other side of town. Harlandale.”
    “That’s good.”
    “But,” he said, grinning like the Cheshire Cat.  “I do have one more little bombshell.”
    I swallowed the delicious hunk of barbecued ribs I’d been chewing.  “If you tell me you’re married to my cousin Sue Anne, then this date is going to take a serious nosedive.”
    “No,” he said gravely.  “I was never married to a relative of yours.”
    “Oh, well… that’s good.”  Then I thought about that sentence again.  “But you’ve been married before?”
    He nodded glumly.
    “And it was to someone I know?”  I could feel a coil of dread scratching its claw down my spine.
    “I was briefly hitched to Janie Gregory, for about a year after high school.”
    My eyes got wide… again.  “Janie Gregory, my best friend in high school?”  This just kept getting better.  Janie stopped talking to me when I moved away to go to art school.  It had seemed like a knife in the back at the time.
    I took a deep breath, and then an even deeper pull on my Corona.  “So,” I said with what I hoped was humor , “how long have you been stalking me?”
    Jake cocked an eyebrow at me.  “You don’t even remember me from high school.”
    “Yeah, but I asked how long you’ve been stalking me .  There’s a distinction.”
    Jake nodded sagely and then tucked in and ate the last few bites of his steak.  When he looked back up at me he had a faux innocent expression on his face.  “What?”
    “You’re evading the question, Stalkerboy.”
    “Don’t worry about it,” he said with a dismissive wave of his hand.  “If things stay true to form, you’ll be stalking me by the weekend.  At least that’s how things went with Janie.”
    “Very funny.”  I scowled at him.
    “And with Beth Stover, and Sheila Call, and Daphne Vaginna.”
    “Okay, fine…I’ll probably be stalking you just like the others.”  I leaned in and whispered conspiratorially, “I think I saw Daphne hiding in the potted fern in the corner.”
    Jake chuckled.  “Remember how Mrs. Hanlon always said her name over the PA system?”
    I took in a deep breath and pinched my nose to imitate the office secretary of the high school.
    “Would Daphne Vagina please report to the office?”  I burst into raucous giggles.
    “I’m surprised she didn’t end up killing the old woman.”
    I pushed the giggles down so I could breathe again.  “And you dated her, huh?”
    “For about a week,” he said.  “But I just kept hearing Mrs. Hanlon saying her name, over and over again.  I think the girl was in every extracurricular activity in the school.”
    “National Honor Society too,” I added.  “I think I would have switched schools.”  Or killed the bitch.
    I finished my last fry and took another gulp of my Corona.  “So have you heard from Janie lately?”
    Jake shook his head.  “Nah, once Janie moves on, she’s gone.  She married a friend of mine about a year later, they split up three months after that, and she