How to Ditch Your Fairy by Justine Larbalestier Read Free Book Online Page B

you have to be calm to enforce. Mom is not calm.
    “She knows about my game suspension.” I sighed. How could she not?
    Mom has the quintessential mom fairy: a knowing-what- your-children- are- up- to fairy. It drives her nuts because she does not consider herself to be the kind of mom who would need such a fairy. But not as much as it drives us nuts (particularly Nettles).
    “I was suspended from this weekend’s cricket meet,” I said at last.
    “I’m sorry, Charlie. Your mother’s upset. She thinks the whole not- going- in- the- car thing has gone on too long and gotten you in too much trouble. I agree. Do you want to wind up expeled? You love this school!”
    “But, Dad … ,” I trailed off. There was no point explaining yet again why it was so important. My dad doesn’t believe in my parking fairy. He doesn’t believe in any fairies, which many people believe is why he doesn’t have one, which for him confirms that they don’t exist. It’s a whole circular reinforcement thing (that’s what Mom cals it). Non- belief interferes with their fairy thing working.
    Or at least that’s the theory.
    Dad’s disbelief is so strong that it cancels out other people’s fairies. Wel, almost everyone’s. It doesn’t have any effect on my fairy. Or Mom’s. But one time Rochele was shopping-grounded for weeks and weeks (she’d bought an extremely wel-fitting cheongsam that her mom said was “immeasurably sexier” than it should have been for a twelve-year-old) and when the grounding was finaly lifted, her parents decreed that she could only clothes shop with adult supervision and there were only four days until the school dance. But it had been raining solid for a week and it kept on raining until the day before the dance and Rochele’s fairy doesn’t work when it’s raining.
    It was what Rochele cals a VAST SHOPPING EMERGENCY
    because she had to have something new for the school dance (despite her wardrobe bursting at the seams), but neither of her parents could be her adult supervisor because they were working late and my mom was working late too (as usual), so Dad stepped in.
    It was a disaster.
    Everything Rochele found that fit was ludicrously expensive, or if Everything Rochele found that fit was ludicrously expensive, or if she could afford it, then it made her look like the most horrendous bug-eyed trol ever to live. She was so dirty on Dad I was amazed he didn’t notice.
    That’s what comes from not believing in fairies. You rob people of a new dress for their school dance.
    “Charlie? Are you listening?”
    “Sorry, Dad.”
    “You’re going to be suspended from al your games, which means you’l be off al your teams, which means you may wind up expeled. This is al you’ve ever wanted—to play cricket and basketbal. I know basketbal hasn’t worked out. Is that what this is about? Are you acting out—”
    “No, Dad!” Why did he have to bring up basketbal? “I just wanted to get rid of my doxhead parking fairy! That’s al!”
    “For the sake of argument, let’s just say fairies are real.”
    “Yes, Dad, everyone in the neighborhood has me ride in their cars because of my stelar conversational skils. Not because they always get the perfect parking spot if I’m in the car.”
    “I said I was pretending fairies are real.”
    “Big of you,” I said, testing out the limits of dad tolerance.
    He waved his arms as if to wipe away what I had said. “How does not taking the bus help get rid of your parking fairy? Buses don’t need to park. Or your bicycle? There are bicycle hubs al over the city. And you don’t park your skateboard, you carry it.

    You’re making your life far more difficult than it has to be and most likely to no purpose at al. Why don’t you limit your embargo to cars? If you’d just take the bus, or the light-rail, or a ferry, you wouldn’t be late so much and you wouldn’t be suspended from your cricket match on the weekend. Cricket B needs you!”
    “But, Dad, I