How to Ruin My Teenage Life by Simone Elkeles Read Free Book Online

and says, “I’m new at being a fadder, but I have to try my best. You used my credit card without my permission. You signed me up for a dating service without my permission. That six-month membership is costing me over three hundred dollars.”
    That about sums it up. “I said I was sorry.”
    â€œThis time, Amy, sorry isn’t good enough.”
    Now I’m starting to panic. Does he want me to leave and go live with my mom and her hyper-allergic husband? There’s no way they’ll let me keep Mutt in their pristine suburban house with the new baby coming. And will I have to start a new school with kids I don’t know? High school is tough enough without being the new kid, and I’m not going to think about Nathan right now because he doesn’t deserve my sympathy.
    â€œI’ll do anything, Aba . Please don’t send me away.”
    My dad stands. I can tell he’s going to break the bad news right now and I wince. “I’m not going to send you away, sweetheart.”
    â€œYou’re not?”
    â€œNo. I got you a job.”

7
    Moses had incredible negotiation skills. He made God, The
#1 Top Guy, change his mind about destroying all of the
Jewish people (Exodus 32:13). If that doesn’t prove anyone
can change the course of their life, nothing will. I wish I
had Moses’s negotiation skills when dealing with my dad.
    â€œAmy, what are you doing here so early? Conversion class doesn’t start for another ten minutes.”
    I’m standing in the doorway of Rabbi Glassman’s office at Temple Beit Chaverim. The rabbi is reading over papers while he rubs his gray and black beard.
    â€œI need to talk to someone,” I tell him.
    Putting his papers aside, Rabbi Glassman motions for me to sit at the chair opposite his desk. “I’m always here to listen if someone needs an ear. That’s my job.”
    â€œListening to people complain?”
    â€œAmong other things,” he says with a smile, then leans back in his large cushioned chair. “What’s on your mind?”
    Lots of stuff, but I’m going to pick out the top one bugging me. “I got in trouble.”
    â€œWith the law?” he prompts.
    â€œWith my dad. I took his credit card without his permission and now he wants me to pay him back the money I charged.” I look to the rabbi, to make sure he’s not keeling over in shock or shame.
    â€œWhat did you charge, if I may ask?”
    I put my hands up. “I know this is gonna sound weird, but it was for a good reason. I signed up for PJSN … you know, the Professional Jewish Singles Network. It’s a dating service. And I did it for my dad.”
    The rabbi’s eyebrows raise up. “You signed your father up for a dating service without his permission?”
    I nod. “He needs a wife.”
    Rabbi Glassman sighs, then says in a quiet voice, “Amy, sometimes you have to let people choose their own paths in life.”
    â€œYeah, but what if they’re taking the wrong one?”
    â€œEveryone makes mistakes. Even rabbis. We’re all human.”
    I seem to be making more than my share of human mistakes lately. “So you’re saying I should let my dad live his life alone and lonely?”
    â€œNonsense. He has you, doesn’t he? Some things aren’t measured by their size, but by their importance.”
    â€œThat’s very philosophical, Rabbi,” I say, smiling.
    â€œYou caught me on a good day.”
    I bite the inside of my cheek. “I haven’t had a lot of those lately.”
    â€œAh, but you can’t appreciate a great day unless you’ve experienced bad ones.”
    â€œLike Jonah had when God made the whale eat him?”
    â€œI see you’ve been studying for class.”
    I lean forward and whisper, “Yeah, although I don’t really buy it all, Rabbi. It’s a little far-fetched for me, if you know what I mean.