How to Ruin Your Boyfriend's Reputation by Simone Elkeles Read Free Book Online

Then the sergeant turns to me. "Your job is to watch him. Come," he says, placing me a few feet in front of my boyfriend so I'm facing him.
    "Watch him?" I question.
    "Yes. Just stand and watch."
    I know if I protest it's going to give him another reason to yell at me.
    Avi, the ever-obedient soldier, gets on the gravel ground and does a pushup, then stands and our eyes meet. He repeats the pushup/standing exercise a few more times, and each time he stands our eyes meet. We can't talk, so our eye contact is the only way to communicate with each other.
    Avis straight, direct eye contact with me is telling me that he's okay... he's strong and he's fine.
    I'm feeling worse than guilty. I wonder when he'll get to stop.
    53
    Avi is still going strong after five minutes, even though his back must be bruised from the rifle strapped to him. His palms are probably raw and bleeding from the gravel, too, but he doesn't give any sign he's in pain.
    I hate watching this. The day has started to cool off, but I'm sweating again. Every time he goes down for another pushup, I wince. When he comes up, I want to tell him I'm sorry and won't lure him away again. After ten minutes, I swallow back tears and give Sergeant B-S a pleading look. He's got his arms folded in front of him, and doesn't show any sign of planning to let Avi stop any time soon.
    I know when Avi is in pain, even though by looking at him you couldn't tell. I know it because he stops looking directly at me when he stands between those pushups. He's looking forward, but not at me... he's looking through me. He's in "the zone" and is a robot now. It's a miracle he hasn't thrown up his dinner. I sure feel like throwing up mine.
    My stomach twists. I can't deal with the fact that I'm just standing here doing nothing. I can't follow the order just to watch Avi. I know Avi won't stop until the sergeant says to, even if he's in pain.
    I get it. Break down the soldier until they understand rules are not to be broken. Ever. Or else. Avi and I cannot go away in private even if we're dating. He knew this, but I lured him to break the rules and he did.
    In the army there are no gray areas. I was wrong to ask him to break the rules, and Avi is paying the price for listening to me.
    54
    The next time he stands, I mimic him like a mirror and get on the ground to do a pushup with him. I try and do a manly pushup without putting my knees on the ground, even though my arms have the strength of a spaghetti noodle.
    Silently I pray to God to give me strength.
    "When Avi and I both stand, this time he looks right at me and is not in "the zone" anymore. He shakes his head just the slightest bit, telling me to stop mimicking him. But I won't. I did the crime; it's not fair that he's the only one doing the time. The sergeant wanted to make me feel guilty. It worked.
    I am back on the ground again, doing another pushup. Little pebbles get stuck to my sweaty palms, and it makes me cringe imagining what Avi's palms must feel like. But I don't stop.
    "Die!" Sergeant B-S says.
    For a second, I think he's giving an order for both of us to die on the spot... maybe he'll just take his gun and shoot us both. A harsh punishment for disobeying orders, but this is the army so maybe anything goes.
    But then I remember it means "stop." Avi and I immediately stand at ease.
    "I told you watch him. You're not good with following directions," the sergeant tells me.
    I don't know if I'm supposed to answer or not, so I stay silent.
    "Gefen tells me you and him are, uh, together. Is this the truth?"
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    My eyes stay on Avi when I say, "Yes, sir." "This is a problem. On this base, between parachute training and Counter Terror School, Sayeret Tzefa trainees are assigned as instructors for the American volunteers. Special Ops soldiers must obey rules or they get reassigned. Eighty percent of Sayeret Tzefa trainees flunk training. Gefen might get reassigned as a driver if he doesn't obey the rules. And Gefen would rather die