How to Twist a Dragon's Tale (Hiccup) by Cressida Cowell Read Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Cressida Cowell
entirely, and
105
that would have been the end of Hiccup, if Humungous hadn't called out from above at the last minute:
Hiccup and Fishlegs flung themselves to the left and the right, and the rock came crashing down in between the two of them.
106
"OhforThorssake ... ohforThorssake ... ohforThorssake ..." gasped Fishlegs, sprawled on the ground and looking up at the dust clouds stirred up by the gigantic stone that had nearly killed them both. "It's a sign, don't you see, it's a sign from Woden that we really ought to be getting out of here ... I'm going to go and check my packing again ..."
"Sorry, guys!" said Humungous, hurrying down from the mountain above. "My foot slipped and I must have knocked off a little bit of rock. Are you all right?"
"Well, we're still three-dimensional, and thank you for asking," replied Fishlegs sarcastically. "Oh, how I wish I had a nice smart Bardiguard all of my very own, to chuck rocks at me, and send me unarmed into one-to-one combat with teenage psychopaths."
It seemed that perhaps Fishlegs might be right about the signs, however, because all these misfortunes, one after another, seemed rather foreboding.
Only the very next day after the rock incident, Hiccup was sitting down to a supper of oysters with his father. Humungous the Bardiguard was standing to attention behind Hiccup's chair. Toothless was underneath the very same chair quietly gobbling up an entire chicken that he'd nicked from the larder.
107
Stoick had finished his oysters before Hiccup had even started his, and was looking at his son's oysters, his mouth watering. His hands reached out for a particularly plump one ...
... and Humungous shouted out, "DON'T EAT THAT OYSTER!"
Stoick looked at Humungous with Royal Disapproval. This guy was going TOO FAR this time. He'd got the whole Hooligan Tribe all decked out like girlies, and now he was trying to tell Stoick what to eat.
"I SHALL EAT WHATEVER OYSTER I LIKE!" roared Stoick the Vast, bringing the oyster up to his mouth. Humungous reached out and made a grab for the oyster.
Stoick the Vast hung on in fury. There was an undignified scuffle, and Humungous had to swallow the oyster himself to prevent Stoick from eating it.
[Image: A man]
"RIGHT, THAT'S IT!" boomed Stoick
108
the Vast, rather relieved, actually, to have hit on an excuse to sack the irritatingly perfect Humungous. "YOU'RE FIRED!" Humungous finished swallowing. "Bad oyster ... very bad oyster ..." he gulped. "I could tell just by looking at it..."
"WOW!" gasped Hiccup. "He just saved YOUR life, now, Father. He ate the bad oyster that you would have eaten! What a Hero!"
"Oh, yes, very good ..." mumbled Stoick gruffly, thinking, just by looking at it, who is this maddening superman?
"So he's not fired, is he, Father?" said Hiccup anxiously.
"No, I guess not," said Stoick, thinking, curses.
"In fact, perhaps you should give him a MEDAL or something. Are you feeling all right, Humungous? "You're looking awfully green."
"I think perhaps I should just have a little lie-down ... for a moment, you know," said. Humungous, and he staggered out of the room, leaning on Hiccup's shoulder, with Hiccup chattering
109
all the time, "that was SO BRAVE, Humungous, and how could you tell it was bad, is it like mushrooms or something? I do hope you're going to be all right..."
Stoick pushed the oysters moodily away from him. He had quite lost his appetite.
110
Humungous was thoroughly ill for the next two days.
Which was just fine, as far as Stoick was concerned.
During this time, all the other Tribes began to arrive at the Meeting which the Vikings called The Thing, held to celebrate the midsummer Festival known as Sun'sday Sunday.
The Bog-Burglars, the Meatheads, the Peaceables, the Grim-bods, the Bashem Oiks, the Silents and the Glums, the Terrormongers, and the Frothifists.
Everybody, in fact, apart from the Outcasts, the Rudeboys, and the Lava-Louts, who were a totally lost cause.
Soon Hooligan
105
that would have been the end of Hiccup, if Humungous hadn't called out from above at the last minute:
Hiccup and Fishlegs flung themselves to the left and the right, and the rock came crashing down in between the two of them.
106
"OhforThorssake ... ohforThorssake ... ohforThorssake ..." gasped Fishlegs, sprawled on the ground and looking up at the dust clouds stirred up by the gigantic stone that had nearly killed them both. "It's a sign, don't you see, it's a sign from Woden that we really ought to be getting out of here ... I'm going to go and check my packing again ..."
"Sorry, guys!" said Humungous, hurrying down from the mountain above. "My foot slipped and I must have knocked off a little bit of rock. Are you all right?"
"Well, we're still three-dimensional, and thank you for asking," replied Fishlegs sarcastically. "Oh, how I wish I had a nice smart Bardiguard all of my very own, to chuck rocks at me, and send me unarmed into one-to-one combat with teenage psychopaths."
It seemed that perhaps Fishlegs might be right about the signs, however, because all these misfortunes, one after another, seemed rather foreboding.
Only the very next day after the rock incident, Hiccup was sitting down to a supper of oysters with his father. Humungous the Bardiguard was standing to attention behind Hiccup's chair. Toothless was underneath the very same chair quietly gobbling up an entire chicken that he'd nicked from the larder.
107
Stoick had finished his oysters before Hiccup had even started his, and was looking at his son's oysters, his mouth watering. His hands reached out for a particularly plump one ...
... and Humungous shouted out, "DON'T EAT THAT OYSTER!"
Stoick looked at Humungous with Royal Disapproval. This guy was going TOO FAR this time. He'd got the whole Hooligan Tribe all decked out like girlies, and now he was trying to tell Stoick what to eat.
"I SHALL EAT WHATEVER OYSTER I LIKE!" roared Stoick the Vast, bringing the oyster up to his mouth. Humungous reached out and made a grab for the oyster.
Stoick the Vast hung on in fury. There was an undignified scuffle, and Humungous had to swallow the oyster himself to prevent Stoick from eating it.
[Image: A man]
"RIGHT, THAT'S IT!" boomed Stoick
108
the Vast, rather relieved, actually, to have hit on an excuse to sack the irritatingly perfect Humungous. "YOU'RE FIRED!" Humungous finished swallowing. "Bad oyster ... very bad oyster ..." he gulped. "I could tell just by looking at it..."
"WOW!" gasped Hiccup. "He just saved YOUR life, now, Father. He ate the bad oyster that you would have eaten! What a Hero!"
"Oh, yes, very good ..." mumbled Stoick gruffly, thinking, just by looking at it, who is this maddening superman?
"So he's not fired, is he, Father?" said Hiccup anxiously.
"No, I guess not," said Stoick, thinking, curses.
"In fact, perhaps you should give him a MEDAL or something. Are you feeling all right, Humungous? "You're looking awfully green."
"I think perhaps I should just have a little lie-down ... for a moment, you know," said. Humungous, and he staggered out of the room, leaning on Hiccup's shoulder, with Hiccup chattering
109
all the time, "that was SO BRAVE, Humungous, and how could you tell it was bad, is it like mushrooms or something? I do hope you're going to be all right..."
Stoick pushed the oysters moodily away from him. He had quite lost his appetite.
110
Humungous was thoroughly ill for the next two days.
Which was just fine, as far as Stoick was concerned.
During this time, all the other Tribes began to arrive at the Meeting which the Vikings called The Thing, held to celebrate the midsummer Festival known as Sun'sday Sunday.
The Bog-Burglars, the Meatheads, the Peaceables, the Grim-bods, the Bashem Oiks, the Silents and the Glums, the Terrormongers, and the Frothifists.
Everybody, in fact, apart from the Outcasts, the Rudeboys, and the Lava-Louts, who were a totally lost cause.
Soon Hooligan
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