into a hug before I can utter a word. “Hey, baby. It’s okay. It’s okay,” she murmurs and I wish it were true. I wish she could kiss my hurt better like she
did when I was a kid. I wish that life
were simpler.
“I found a lump, mom.”
She goes so still and quiet. I can feel that she’s stopped breathing. She pulls back to look at my face. “In your breast?”
I nod and she gets the same expression on her face
that she used to wear when we visited Auntie Marie in the hospital.
“I’ll make an appointment for you to see a
specialist,” she says. “It’s probably
nothing, but we need to make sure.” She
smooths away my tears and kisses my cheek, then she’s all in business
mode. Mom always gets like this when
she’s worried. She doesn’t deal well with emotions and stress. The house will be spotless by this afternoon
because she’s about to go on a cleaning frenzy, I can tell. Anything to take
her mind off what is really going on.
“Thanks,” I say. I guess there’s nothing more to add. I can stress about this or do what Jason said and deal with it as it
comes.
I feel my phone buzz in my pocket and I tap in my pin
to see who’s messaging me so early. It’s
Jason. They asked for my phone number when
we said goodbye. I feel my cheeks flush
as I remember how he kissed me outside my house. It was so gentle and tender. Not what I expected at the end of a one-night
stand.
J – You okay, Katelin? Did you tell your mom?
K – Yeah. Just now. She looks really stressed but she’s gonna book an appointment for me to
get checked out.
J – Good. Try
not to worry. I know it’s easy for me to
say.
K – Thanks…you know. For being so kind. Did you talk
to Bryan?
J – Yeah. He’s
pissed. But he’s also worried as fuck.
He’s gonna be in touch.
K – Okay.
I swallow around the lump that seems to have taken up
permanent residence in my throat. I’m
not the kind of girl that enjoys a pity party but something about knowing that
people are worried about me warms my heart.
J – Everything will be okay.
K – I hope so.
J – If you need anything…
I know it’s gonna be at least a day before I can get
an appointment with a specialist. What
am I going to do with myself all that time? I’m definitely going to need some kind of distraction. I could call Jenna or Carrie. I could see what Abi is up to, maybe head to
the mall for some retail therapy. Somehow none of those options seems as appealing as spending time with
the twins. I consider asking if they
want to do something but I’m nervous. What if they don’t want to see me again?
What if the thing with Bryan is too much for them to get past? I guess that I don’t have much to lose. If they say no, they say no. It’s not like their approval is something I’m
seeking. I just like the idea of being
with them. I know they’d help me take my
mind off things without too much pity and worry. I think my friends are going to freak out
when I tell them what’s going on, and I’m not sure I’m ready to deal with that. I reply to Jason with a light invitation and
a small bubble of hope in my heart.
K – This town doesn’t have much going on. You like movies?
J – Sure. You
wanna hook up later?
K – I think so. Drive thru?
J – Sounds good. I’ll tell Austin.
I pause for a moment. Of course Jason would tell Austin. They’re on vacation together and after last night it would just be weird
if he didn’t. But what about Bryan? I feel like I have to ask.
K – Okay…what about Bryan?
J – You want me to tell him too?
Now there’s a question. I can’t exactly say no. That wouldn’t be fair. But saying yes has all kinds of strange
connotations. He knows what I did last
night. Will he feel like a tag-along?
Maybe he’ll think we’re heading out on a date before more sex.