Hungry for Your Love: An Anthology of Zombie Romance by Lori Perkins Read Free Book Online

smiled, behaving like the sick bastard Tub-o thought he was.
    Fucking prick.
    “Oh, the terms of sale!” He recovered nicely, providing a businesslike face. “No refunds, no returns. The body comes with a certificate of health and a yearlong membership to the Bodies For Your Brains gym. You are responsible for procuring the surgeon of your choice if you’d like someone other than the doctors retained for the company.”
    Derrick thought it over and glowered at the hand that was turning grey. His entire body was rotting. Soon he would fall apart. A million dollars was an obscene amount of cash to pay for anything, but in this case, it went far beyond any connotation of medical necessity. He took a moment to thank his parents for investing in Hilton Hotel and Resorts when they started decades ago. Otherwise, he’d be another working stiff that fell directly into the stereotype when rigor mortis set in.
    “I’ll take it,” he said, rising to his feet. “Where do I sign?”
    Tub-o smiled cheerily and he had to resist the overwhelming temptation to press a finger into his Santa Claus-sized belly to see if he would giggle like the Pillsbury Doughboy.
    “Over here, sir.”
    He walked to the cheap plywood and aluminum-plated desk, taking the seat directly across from Tubs. A large wooden plaque told him the associate was actually Thaddeus Harris.
    Derrick bristled at the irony.

    47
    “Thaddeus Harris?”
    “Yeah, so?”
    “As in The Police Academy Thaddeus Harris?”
    The unfriendly smile on Tubs face said it all. “I’m a lot like the Harry Potters of the world that existed in anonymity before a certain boy wizard took the name to new heights.”
    “Must suck.”
    Obsidian eyes flashed knowingly. “I’m sure there are things far worse.”
    Derreick notched his chin and gave the man props. “Touché.”
    A few clicks on the trusty DELL on his desk and Thaddy boy started listing off what Derrick guessed was the standardized version of a check list. No returns, no exchanges, no liability to the company after the donor left the property, no feeding the body after midnight…
    “Oh,” Tubs said, frowning at the screen.
    “Oh?”
    “There’s a stipulation here. It’s one of our lesser-used clauses. I’m not even sure if it’s right.” He wrestled his girth from the chair and gave a thin smile. “Would you excuse me for a moment?”
    He didn’t really pay attention when Tub-o bustled away, too wrapped up in just how fucked up his life had become. He was a respectable businessman, operating a successful brokerage firm passed down through the generations. Life had been good—excellent, even.
    Well, almost.

    48
    Losing his girl to a bedpost-notching best friend was a blow to his self-esteem, but they’d all worked through it. If Tanya was looking for greener pastures, let her have them. She’d learn her lesson when Tom moved on to his next challenge.
    Death changed a lot of things, including bitterness.
    This time, he would find the right woman. And when he did, he would never let her go.
    “Excuse me, Mr. ..” Thaddeus waited for him to introduce himself.
    “Quinn, Derrick Quinn.”
    “Mr. Quinn,” Thaddeus said. “There is one minor stipulation the wife checked, and after taking a look at the hard copy, it’s definitely not a computer error. Sometimes it happens when there are children left behind, but in this particular circumstance, it’s rather odd.”
    Figures.
    Just when he thought he had a handle on the shit, he got thrown another curveball.
    When Tubs wasn’t forthcoming with the stipulation in question, he demanded,
    “Well? Spit it out, Thaddeus. What does she want?”
    The belly bracing the clipboard in hand quivered like Jell-O and he fidgeted uncomfortably. “She wants to meet the buyer.”

    2.
    Olivia DeMarkus Bradworth wasn’t in the mood for a date. The last time she agreed to one, she wound up married to a schmuck who had the body of a Greek god and 49
    shit for brains. But