Hurt Me So Good by Joely Sue Burkhart Read Free Book Online Page A

of my teeth. After that, I trusted myself more.”
    “I’m not worried about losing my control during sex. Not exactly.” Victor kneaded his scalp. The soreness didn’t do much for his erection that hadn’t faded since Shiloh’s presentation. “It’s the scene where I’ll go too far.”
    “So don’t do a scene with her, not until you can control it.”
    Victor shook his head. “Won’t help, bro. I’ve already established what I want from her, and it’s not just sex. She’s not a submissive who’s going to be happy with a little light bondage or pleasant sex, not for long, and neither am I. Pain is sex for us, the best kind of all, and I’m afraid…”
    He closed his eyes and forced himself to admit the truth. “If it’s just me, I can control myself, but she’s not just a submissive. She’s a masochist, and she’s far from afraid of me, which is dangerous. She’s going to push and taunt me into crossing the line, and I’ve barely even touched her. She’ll let me go too far.”
    “If she knows how to stop you…”
    “She’ll know how to tell me to stop, definitely. But I’m afraid she won’t. She wants me to hurt her as badly as I want to hurt her. I tried to scare her today and she laughed and deliberately antagonized me. What if I can’t control us both? What if I get lost in the pain and take her too far? Once it’s done, what kind of damage will I have caused her? Will she hate me, then? God, Conn, I don’t want to seriously hurt her!”
    “‘Tragedy delights by affording a shadow of the pleasure that exists in pain . ’”
    “Don’t quote poetry at me,” Victor groaned. “You know I never understand it.”
    “You’ll understand this one: ‘Ah, me! Alas, pain, pain ever, forever!’”
    Yeah, he certainly did. Pain was always with him, and something he couldn’t help but seek. “What happened to us, Conn? I mean, seriously, I’m more messed up than you, but neither of us is exactly normal.”
    “I don’t know, V. I wish I could help more than just listen to you.”
    “Miss Belle was right to have you call me, but don’t tell her so. It helped just to talk about it.”
    “Do you think we got these urges from her? Or maybe—”
    Victor let out a laughing groan. “Don’t even go there. I can’t even begin to wonder if Mama or Daddy gave us these needs. Are you trying to give me nightmares?”
    “So what are you going to do?”
    “Hell if I know.” Victor sighed. “What makes this all even more hilarious is both Shiloh and I are going to be doing a reality BDSM show for VCONN’s new season.”
    His brother blew out his breath in a low whistle. “You’re coming out of the closet, so to speak?”
    He hadn’t thought of that. How many Dallas citizens would recognize him? “We’ll be wearing masks and costumes.”
    “You know Mama wouldn’t miss a single show from your station, right?”
    Great, that was exactly what he wanted to hear. Not only did he have to worry about protecting Shiloh from himself, but now he’d have to deal with his mother’s fury if she witnessed him seriously hurting a woman. It’d been one thing to know he ran a sexy cable show; how would she feel to know he was participating ? As the Master?
    “I didn’t think about that,” he admitted. “I guess I should warn her.”
    “Too busy thinking about getting into your new woman’s pants, huh,” Conn joked.
    But Victor didn’t laugh as they said goodbye. He’d been too busy thinking about how long she’d go before giving her safeword and fleeing him for good.

Chapter Five
    Freshly showered, Victor limped back to the poolside bench to fetch his phone. He was going to have to ice his knee tonight if he had any hope of skipping the brace for tomorrow’s taping, assuming Shiloh and Mal had made enough progress. He checked his watch. He ought to know within the next hour how the day had gone.
    His phone rang, and his stomach tightened with the irrational fear that it might be Shiloh