name. Donât pull this crap with me.â
Terrell shook his head. âThis ainât no crap. Gentryâs the enemy.â
âMaybe the Disciplesâs enemy, but not ours. Besides, sheâs no Gangsta and Iâm no Disciple.â
Terrell shifted the toothpick from one side of his mouth to the other and narrowed his eyes at me. The pose was starting to get on my nerves.
âHow come you wonât get with Soon To Shoot?â he asked.
I glanced at his âcrewâ around the bench, crossing their arms and lowering their gazes, practicing defiant, menacing looks. âYou sure you donât want to call yourselves Soon To Shave?â
Terrellâs lower lip jutted out angrily. âThe only reason you ainât with us is because of her .â
âThe only reason I ainât with you is because I donât want to be with you.â
âHouse boy,â Terrell taunted. It was about as bad an insult as you could fling. Already frustrated by not getting to be alone with Tanisha, I felt my fists clench.
Terrell lifted his fists. âOkay, come on, letâs see what you got.â But as he spoke, his eyes darted back at his crew, and I knew it was just more show. I dropped my fists and started back toward Tanisha. Terrell followed.
âYouâre messing everything up for me,â he said in a hushed voice he didnât want the others to hear. âIf you got with us, Marcus might think serious about bringing us into the Disciples.â
âHow about you get with me and think serious about coming back to Washington Carver?â I asked. School was set to begin in a few days, and Terrell had said he wasnât going back.
Terrell jerked his head at Tanisha, who was talking on her cell phone, her face bright and animated. âOnly reason you go is âcause of her.â
I spun around and aimed a finger at his face. âFor the last time, you leave her out of this. You get with the gangbangers, and all youâre gonna do is wind up in jail.â
âMarcus and Jamar ainât in jail,â Terrell said. âTheyâre wearing fresh clothes and driving hot rides. They got more bank and bling than youâll ever get from going to school. All they teach in school is how to work for the white man.â
âStop talking trash.â I turned and headed again toward Tanisha.
âAm I?â Terrell asked, following me. âLook at what they teach us. The history of white people. Books by white people. Stay in school and all youâll ever be is a pawn for white people.â
âNot me,â I said.
Oh, yeah?â Terrell said. âThen what else you gonna be?â
I didnât answer. The truth was, I didnât know.
âCome on, DeShawn,â Terrell said behind me. âYou know you gotta get with us sooner or later. Around here there ainât nothing else you can do.â
SARDINES AND A LOAF
It turned even hotter the next day. Terrell and I were up in his apartment playing Thrill Kill on his Xbox with the window fan blowing on us like a gale. The anger weâd felt the day before had passed, but I wasnât sure our friendship was the same as it had been. Inside we were still a couple of kids playing games, but outside he was an aspiring gangbanger and I wasnât. We were both careful not to mention Tanisha. Terrell paused the game and went over to his desk and took a handful of peanuts in the shell out of a plastic bag.
âHave some,â he offered.
âWhereâd you get âem?â I cracked open a shell.
âCousins in Georgia. They got their own farm.â
âEver been there?â
Terrell shook his head. âWhat do I want to go to some farm for?â
From outside, above the whir of the fan, came yelling and laughter. I went to the window. Someone had opened a fire hydrant on Abernathy, and bare-chested boys, and girls in T-shirts, were playing in the spray.
âWant to