I'm Having More Fun Than You by Aaron Karo Read Free Book Online Page A

believe that guys would be much better off if we never left the elevator. That option notwithstanding, after I’ve assessed my options, scouted the competition, and made my approach, the game is officially on.
    First things first: there is no such thing as a pick-up line. The kind of guys who use pick-up lines that actually work are the kind of guys who don’t need them in the first place (i.e., they’ve won an Oscar or are Derek Jeter). I’ve only used two successful lines in my entire life: “I’m in this fraternity; wanna go upstairs?” and “I’m the guy you just saw onstage; wanna go upstairs?” I mean, let’s face it, if I ever move to a first-floor apartment, I’m fucked.
    Guys should, however, be encouraged to leverage (and embellish) their particular situation for the purposes of game. The most effective scenario is if you’ve just moved to a new city. “I just moved here” is a trusty icebreaker and conversation-prolonger. It also invites an element of pity that cannot be underestimated. If the new-in-town theme seems to be working, guys will often try the “Let’s go back to my place—you can be the first person to see my apartment!” tack. Women should be wary, though, that there is no set statute of limitations. You are most likely not the first girl to have seen this dude’s apartment. Hell, I moved to Los Angeles years ago and I still break that puppy out every once in a while.
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    LITERARY ANALYSIS
     
    New York Times bestseller The Game by Neil Strauss popularized the concept of “negging.” A neg is a comment made to a woman that does not directly insult her, but instead subtly prods her, ostensibly piquing her interest in turn. While negging is indeed an integral part of flirting that most guys utilized prior to The Game , it is still a difficult art to master. Here are two examples from my own experience.
    CORRECT: LEAVES WOMAN OFF-BALANCE AND SELF-CONSCIOUS
     
CUTE CHICK I RAN INTO ON THE STREET: Hey Karo!
ME: Did you just come from the gym?
CUTE CHICK: What? No.
    INCORRECT: LEAVES WOMAN INSULTED AND SEARCHING FOR MACE
     
ME: I’m looking for a shirt for my sister but I have no idea what size.
CUTE SALESGIRL: Well, what does she look like?
ME: A lot skinnier than you.
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    One thing that most guys have been blessed with is the ability to sound interested. No matter how dull her job, inane her jokes, or boring her banter, if I’m attempting to get into a girl’s pants, I can feign curiosity about whatever the fuck she’s talking about. Guys do this because we’ve found that walking away glassy-eyed in mid-conversation ensures we won’t get laid. If you’re a girl who majored in communications or likes to show off her iPhone, please be aware that every male you’ve ever spoken to in your entire life was faking it. Just a heads up.
    There is a stark difference, however, between embellishing how long ago you moved or faking like you’re paying attention to a girl, and flat-out lying to her. This is an issue that bachelors are evenly divided on. Some get off on it. The bolder the lie, the greater the challenge. Some guys lie because their real life sucks. Others, like me, reject lying as uncool, unfair, and unnecessary. Also, I’m not a very good liar. Besides, it’s too easy to go too far. I’ll never forget when my buddy Shermdog excitedly told me he’d just met two hot European blondes at the bar and told them we were from Quebec. I said, “Good work, Sherm. But next time you lie and say we’re Canadian, I’d avoid the one French-speaking province.”
    PLAN OF ATTACK
     
    Once a guy has acquired a target and sees potential, he is then faced with maintaining a difficult balance: trying not to smother the girl or appear too interested, while at the same time not losing her either. One of the worst feelings is turning around and realizing the amazing girl I’ve just met, whose name I can actually remember, is now missing in action. Because drunk chicks are like