In the Absence of You by Sunniva Dee Read Free Book Online

me, but there’s an unspoken agreement that no word goes beyond the bus if Aishe and I end up sharing a bunk now and then.
    “What’s up?” I ask, thrusting my hands into my pockets. The tension over Bo’s fucking bliss sits in my muscles.
    “Do you know anything about Quicken?” she asks, pointing at the spreadsheet on her computer. Rows of numbers are spread all over the screen. She peeks at me over a shoulder, cheek rosy. I know absolutely nothing about numbers or data programs, and I’m pretty sure she didn’t call me over to help. The girl has pulled me out of confrontations several times already over the last weeks, helping me avoid shouting matches and fist fights with my best friends.
    She’s been my catalyst too, letting me touch her when I’ve needed it the most. It sucks, because I’m not in a place where I can be some noble, awesome guy. There’s not even a way for me to fake it right now.
    I had it under control in the beginning, but the pain over losing Zoe just never let up. It’s exhausting to remain cool while Clown Irruption’s star spins higher and higher, the polar opposite of my plunging life.
    I hate how I feel. What does money, success, and adoration mean when you lose the simplest, most important thing that makes you breathe?
    I pull a hand from my pocket and press a fingerprint onto an empty spot on Aishe’s spreadsheet. “There. Just add a number and you’re good.” She laughs, and I hit the touchpad of the laptop, select an empty cell, and type “X,” like we’re playing tic-tac-toe. Her hair smells like plants. Fresh-cut grass or something. Really good. I bend in and sniff her.
    “See? You’re all set. Where were we?” I grab her shoulders and knead them, letting my fingers shift downward while I glance around. Elias is here, but he’s on the phone, talking with a girl from Africa who visits our shows from time to time.
    “My guess is you can’t tell me how to hide rows,” she says, speaking Greek. She turns her stool fully so her back is toward Elias. I like it. My mood is on the upswing, which isn’t a surprise—I’ve already learned she’s a miracle worker.
    “Hmm, let me look closer,” I hum, deep like David Bowie, then I sink to my haunches behind her chair, lean my chin on her shoulder, and act like I’m scanning the screen for clues. My hands don’t go to the keyboard though. I let them slide around her middle so I can pull myself in and hold her close. Her stomach muscles quiver nervously. She’s tittering, I think, but without sound. It’s fucking nice to have her occupy my thoughts.
    Aishe’s fingers thread through mine, and I bring them beneath her shirt and enjoy the sensation of smooth skin.
    “Get a room,” Elias says, breaking from his phone conversation.
    “Shut up, dork,” I retort and sneak upward in search of the rim of Aishe’s bra.
    “Emil…” It’s nice when a girl’s voice tapers off like that.
    “Yeeeees?” I’ve found fabric-covered steel, but I curve my hand past it and over her tit to fondle delicate skin from the top instead.
    “We’re almost at the airport.” She ends with a sigh that’s affected by my touch—gauze to the gash bleeding in my stomach each time Nadia comes without Zoe.
    “True, and?” I think I started growing the instant her eyes landed on me.
    Elias stands abruptly and walks out the door. I get up and shut it. Lock it with the flimsy metal hook that will keep us from getting visitors.
    “And looky, we’re alone,” I say, arching a brow.
    “Emil…” She looks up at me, pleading. Since the night I was hammered, I’ve given her what she wants. She just wants some lovin’ . It isn’t a big deal.
    “Speak up,” I say, hoisting Aishe up from her seat and plopping her onto my lap. For good measure, I rock her butt over my cock, and it’s damn nice. Pretty sure she’s asking for it. “You got a problem?” I flirt.
    “I… sort of.” Her voice sounds shaky. Goddamn, and if life’s