Indigo by Unknown Read Free Book Online

Underneath that, there’s a framed photo of me and her standing by the Grand Canyon when I was eight years old, our clasped hands held up in the air and our identical black hair waving in the breeze. There are a few magazines, scented lotions, moisturizer, my favorite candies, a pack of gum, and a beautiful red crop top blouse that must have cost her a fortune. But it’s what’s tucked inside that gets me. My hands shake as I wrap my fingers around the antique gilded hand mirror. It reminds me of the one Belle has in Beauty in the Beast. Way too lovely for a face like mine. I sketch my fingers lightly over the carvings and let out a halted breath into the phone. “Oh, mom.”
    “I know you hate mirrors.” I hear her voice catch, making my lip tremble. “But I’m hoping…that one day, you’ll be able to see how beautiful you are again. To see yourself the way I see you.”
    I sniffle loudly and wipe a tear from my cheek. “Thank you mom…for everything. It’s too much.”
    “I’d do anything for you Indy, I love you.”
    “I love you too, mom.”
    “Now tell me about your first dance classes…”
    We hang up a few minutes later, and I sit on the floor regaining my breath. The humming returned the moment we got off the phone, but then again, it always does. I rise on shaky legs and head toward my pillow, pulling out the knife I keep hidden there. From the corner of my eye, I see the mirror on the floor and I stare at it for a few seconds before picking it up and shoving it face down in my nightstand drawer. Grabbing one of the magazines in a hopeless attempt at distraction, I position myself in front of the door, checking the locks a couple more times before I sit down. The knife I place by my feet.
    I don’t close my eyes until the light slips back over the horizon. 
    KENNEDY
    Drumming my fingers against my desk in impatience, I glance at the clock for the hundredth time since class started. I can tell by the professor’s tone he’s wrapping up, but I can’t focus on anything that’s coming out of his mouth. Everyone next to me is dutifully taking notes, while I sit here filled with anxiety to get out of the seat. It’s been this way the past two years. Nothing about my law classes interest me. Annoyance surges through my blood. I did my best, and I gave this a shot. My mom has to understand once and for fucking all, Law is not what I want to do with my life.
    Finally, we’re dismissed, and I get up from my desk and head straight towards the door.
    “Kennedy,” the Professor calls out. “Got a minute?”
    I halt in my tracks and hesitantly step toward him. He waits until the rest of the students file out to speak.
    “I wanted to introduce myself personally,” he smiles. He must still be in his thirties, I think, when he runs his hand through his full head of thick brown hair. “I was just brought on staff a couple months ago. I’m a friend of your mothers.”
    Impatience simmers beneath my skin as I brace myself to deal with another member of the faculty trying to get on my good side because of who my mother is. “It’s nice to meet you.” He purses his lips when he notices my eyes flick back toward the clock.
    “We’ll be seeing a lot of each other. Your mother told me you finally declared your major for Law.”
    That gets my attention, and I stand up a little straighter. “What? When did she tell you that?”
    He looks at me closely and shoves his hands in his pockets. “Just this morning, I ran into her in the admin office right before this class.”
    My gut clenches. “She’s wrong. I haven’t declared my major yet. I’m still deciding between Law and Art.”
    “Huh,” he says. He leans back against the white board. “Two very different directions.”
    I grip my backpack, furious. My mom has always thought that if she says something out loud it makes it true. I should have known she’d go behind my back. I seethe thinking about how much paperwork is already filed lining me up