Jaded (The Butterfly Memoirs) by M. J. Kane Read Free Book Online Page B

nervously. “I’m pregnant.”
    My eyes nearly bulged out of my head. “What?”
    “Oh my God! Congratulations!” Ebony cried, as she hugged her.
    After the shock wore off, I did the same.
    “Oh no, Ebony, your dress!” Kaitlyn cried. A quick assessment assured there were no traces of makeup on the immaculate material.
    “It’s okay,” she said, turning her attention to Kaitlyn. “I can’t believe it, you’re pregnant? How far along?”
    “I’m a little over two months. I found out yesterday.”
    I did a quick math calculation in my head. Could this be the reason why she’d been anxious to move in with her boyfriend? “What did Luke say?”
    Her eyes went to her hands. “He’s still adjustin’ to the idea of being a dad, but he’s gonna be great, I just know it.”
    I didn’t miss the water collecting in the corners of her eyes. Something told me it wasn’t from happiness.
    Ebony took over the conversation by going on and on about how great being an auntie would be, and how wonderful it was to be getting married. Realization sunk in…both of my friends had something to make their lives whole.
    All I had was an incomplete business plan.
    I diverted my eyes and focused on a box of decorations sitting across the room. Hurt, anger, and pain were a constant theme in my life.
    Was I cursed to play the role of best friend and auntie for the rest of my life? Where was my ray of sunshine, my bright spot that made life worth living, even when times got rough?
    I felt a hand land lightly on my shoulder. “Are you okay?” Startled, I forced my attention back to the conversation. Ebony’s concern not only shown on her face, it was audible in her voice. She held a tissue in her hand.
    I couldn’t be crying. I wiped my cheeks. Yep, those were definitely tears.
    “I’m okay,” I lied. “I’m so happy for you guys. You’re marrying the man of your dreams, and Kaitlyn is about to enter motherhood.” I accepted the tissue and blew my nose. “Both of you are moving forward with your dreams.” I plastered on a smile. “I’ve got plans of my own…”
    They looked at each other and drew me in for a group hug.
    “The perfect man will find you when you least expect it,” Ebony said matter-of-factly.
    I shook my head. “Right now, I’m focusing on me. Javan ruined my desire to have another relationship.” I immediately cringed at the mention of his name. Ebony didn’t seem fazed by it. “Love isn’t meant for everyone,” I said, trying to smooth it over.
    “That’s not true,” Kaitlyn said. “There’s someone for everybody. The one for you may not be lookin’ the same time you are. Your paths will cross one day.”
    Words spoken by a woman who had everything I secretly wanted.
    “Speakin’ of which, do you have a date for the weddin’?” Kaitlyn inquired.
    Oh. Shit.
    After months of preparing to give my best friend a day to remember for the rest of her life, I forgot about finding an escort for the evening.
    Did I want the headache or the hassle? Finding someone willing to accompany me for the evening would not be hard. Hell, my phone rang off the hook with calls from men in my little red book. I avoided their calls, not even listening to the suggestive voicemails. After Javan, sex dropped to the bottom of my list of things to focus on. I no longer entertained the concept of a ‘sex only’ relationship with zero strings attached.
    I was at a vulnerable point in my life. If a man said the right thing, my panties would drop without a second thought, no doubt pulling my heart right along with them.
    I didn’t have the strength or the fortitude to withstand heartbreak again.
    But I couldn’t show up to Ebony’s wedding alone.
    A call to one of the guys in my book would fill the empty void for the night, but at what cost? No doubt they would expect me to spend time in their bed as payment. My heart couldn’t afford to pay the bill.
    Zachariah Givens .
    Why did he pop into my head?
    Well, he