Jaine Austen 4 - Shoes to Die For by Laura Levine Read Free Book Online

you.

    Anyhow, good luck at your audition! I’ll keep my fingers crossed.

    To: Jausten
    From: DaddyO
    Subject: Not to Worry

    That’s okay, sweetheart. Playing an insect probably wouldn’t look good on my resume, anyway.

    And don’t worry about the audition. Like I said, I’m a shoo-in. My only concern is Mom. She’s going to read with me on stage, and I only hope she doesn’t get nervous and flub her lines.

    To: Jausten
    From: Shoptillyoudrop
    Subject: Driving Me Nuts!

    Jaine, honey. Your daddy is driving me nuts. I must have read that silly play with him at least a dozen times. All he has to read at the audition is two pages, but he insisted on memorizing the whole thing. I tell you if I have to read Lord Worthington’s Ascot one more time, I’ll tear my hair out. (Which reminds me, I bought the most wonderful shampoo on The Shopping Channel. It volumizes while it conditions; two eight-ounce bottles only $19.95, plus shipping and handling.)

    But getting back to Daddy. Now he’s started talking in a loud hammy voice everywhere we go. He says he’s “projecting.” He’s so darn loud, I’m surprised you haven’t heard him in Los Angeles. Yesterday when we were at the supermarket, he said, “Honey, do we need milk?” and seven women answered yes.

    It’s bad enough I’ve had to rehearse with him, but now Daddy wants me to read the part of Lady Worthington with him during his audition. He says he’s used to reading his lines with me. Honey, I’m a nervous wreck. I can’t wait till this silly audition is over!

    Love from,
    Your frazzled mom

    To: Shoptillyoudrop
    From: Jausten

    Hang in there, Mom. You know how Daddy is. This acting thing is just a Fad du Jour. He’ll get bored with it eventually. Just stay calm and don’t panic.

    To: Jausten
    From: Shoptillyoudrop
    Subject: The Little People

    Oh, Lord. You’ll never guess what I just saw! I was walking past the bedroom, and there was Daddy, taking bows in front of the mirror, and thanking “all the little people who made this award possible.”

    To: Shoptillyoudrop
    From: Jausten

    Okay, start panicking.

Chapter 6

    I drove to Becky’s the next night, mulling over the latest news from my parents. Can you believe my father? He hadn’t even gotten the part yet, and he was writing his acceptance speech for the Oscars. Honestly, I don’t know how Mom puts up with him. She’s been doing it for forty years; I guess somewhere along the line she must have built up an immunity.
    I parked my car in front of Becky’s apartment building in West Hollywood. It was one of those seventies-era singles’ buildings that look like they were thrown together with Elmer’s Glue and particle board. She buzzed me in, and as I walked down the hallway to her apartment, I could hear stereos blasting through the thin walls.
    It was past seven and I was starving. Feeling guilty about that Eskimo Pie I’d had the night before (okay, two Eskimo Pies), I hadn’t eaten a thing all day except for a bagel and three Altoids. So when I rang the bell to Becky’s apartment, I was ready to eat the curtains.
    Becky opened the door, looking adorable in hot pink leggings and an oversized T-shirt. On her feet she wore chartreuse flip flops. Her toenails were painted hot pink to match her leggings, with tiny yellow daisies on each toe.
    “Hi, Jaine,” she said. “Come on in.”
    I stepped inside and blinked in amazement. The walls, like her hair, were Sunkist orange, and the furniture—rickety old pieces she’d probably picked up at garage sales—were painted black. I thought I’d died and gone to that great Halloween Party in the Sky.
    “Trick or treat!” I said.
    Okay, so I didn’t really say that. What I said was, “Great apartment.”
    “I decorated it myself,” Becky beamed.
    “It makes quite a statement,” I said, smiling weakly, thinking that the statement it made was Redecorate me!
    “Guess what?” Becky said. “I cooked us a steak dinner!”
    A steak