Jemima J. by Jane Green Read Free Book Online Page B

detail shines from the screen, and Ben, once he is sure there is no one other than Jemima to see him, is practically salivating. And Jemima? Jemima wants to die. Jemima has never seen porn before, not proper hard-core porn, and, sitting next to Ben, she blushes furiously, a hot red rising up and covering her face. Don’t look round, she thinks, don’t look at me, Ben, don’t see what I look like.
     
    “What are you two up to?” Geraldine’s striding towards us, as immaculate as ever in a crisp camel suit, large gold earrings, and the omnipresent sunglasses on top of her head.
    “Research,” I bluster, feeling more and more stupid even as the color starts to fade from my face.
    “Shit,” whispers Ben, but before he can get rid of the picture Geraldine’s in front of the screen.
    “Oh my God!” she says, almost under her breath. “Where did that come from?”
    “Hotsex,” I mutter.
    “Hot what?”
    “Hotsex,” repeats Ben. “We found this site on the Internet.”
    p. 43 “You’d better not let anyone see what you’re doing.”
    “Really?” says Ben. “Tell me something else I didn’t know.”
    Geraldine muscles between us. “Let me have a go,” she says, french manicured nails reaching for the mouse on the table.
    “What’s this then?” she says, clicking on to DOOR ONE . “What’s behind Door One, I wonder?”
    None of us has to wonder long, as the picture disappears and more lines start appearing, another picture. This time a man, head arched back in ecstasy as a semi-naked girl, on her knees in front of him, is shown in graphic detail giving him a blow job.
    “God,” whispers Geraldine. “This is hysterical, it’s so, well, so unsexy.” I start to laugh because she’s absolutely right. There is nothing, but nothing, sexy about looking at a pornographic picture on a computer screen. Then Ben starts to laugh, and soon the three of us are clutching our sides and wiping the tears from our eyes. This stuff is far too clinical to turn anyone on.
    “Oh dear,” gasps Geraldine, wiping the tears carefully away so as not to smudge her MAC mascara. “What else can we look at?”
    “What, more sex?” Even Ben’s surprised.
    “No, idiot. I mean aren’t there any other interesting places?”
    “I don’t know. I don’t know what else to look at.”
    “Oh Ben, for God’s sake. Here, let me.” Geraldine gets rid of the sex and clicks a few times, finally coming across HOT SITES ON THIS NETWORK .
    “That’s probably more sex,” I moan, clutching my heart, which I don’t think can take the strain of another full-color graphic porn picture on the computer screen at work.
    “No, it’s not,” says Geraldine, “it’s just sites that are popular.”
    And sure enough a new list of sites appears onscreen.
    “There, that looks good,” says Geraldine, gesturing at a site called LA Café. Geraldine reads out loud. “ ‘LA Café. The coolest virtual café on the Internet. Grab a cappuccino, the latest articles from the American magazines, and meet other single people, all looking for that one special person.’ ”
    p. 44 “LA Café, here we come,” says Ben, as Geraldine clicks on the site, and the logo comes on the screen.
     
    LA Café
    The coolest site for the seriously single
    and the cappuccinos you’ve been surfing for all your life
     
    “We have to join but it doesn’t cost anything,” says Geraldine, clicking the JOIN logo. A small box appears saying NAME: KILBURN HERALD .
    “Oh forget that,” she says, “we won’t be picking up anything as the Kilburn Herald. What shall we call ourselves?”
    “How about the Three Musketeers?” offers Ben, who’s now genuinely excited.
    “No. Too obvious.”
    “We’re only messing around, let’s come up with a name that sounds suitably sexy,” I offer, really quite curious to see what’s going to happen. I think for a minute. “What about Honey?”
    “Brilliant,” says Geraldine, deleting KILBURN HERALD and typing in