delightedly. "I gave up handshake buzzers years ago."
"Assumptions are dangerous things," she reminded him, and cautiously took his hand.
THREE
By the time dawn came, Mossoud and the others had gone to plant charges around the base's perimeter while Urick and Chambers unloaded the truck.
It had been more than twenty-four hours since Urick had any rest, but she was not in the least bit sleepy. Physically, a bit tired, and bleary-eyed, perhaps. Emotionally, she began with absolute exhilaration—they were doing it, they were actually doing it! Soon the world would hear of them; she would have a place in history. It was all too soon replaced by absolute dread—she'd gone too far to expect mercy, to expect to live if something went wrong with their plans. At weak moments she found herself doubting.
Chambers' plan had seemed so simple: overrun the base and transmit the message. They would booby-trap the perimeter to slow the army down, and the nuclear waste would provide them with more protection than any hostage could. Load some waste onto the truck, along with the explosives, and no one would try to stop them from making good their escape. The important thing, Chambers kept repeating, was to get the message to the world—to call upon fellow anarchists to bring about worldwide chaos.
It had seemed important enough to die for, or, at least, Urick had thought so then. Now despair overcame her. If the government found a way onto the base, she, Chambers, all of them, were dead, as dead as the two men she had killed. As dead as the seventeen blood-caked bodies piled into one far corner of the yard, growing stiff under the sun's first rays. Only we just don't know it yet.
Through it all, she worked with detached efficiency. She brought the transmitter dish from the back of the truck and knelt down in the sandy soil to adjust it. Didn't need sleep. She'd just as soon never sleep again, but she could definitely use a shower. Tiny red droplets spattered the front of her white jump suit; there were dirty smudges on the knees and pockets.
"Could you help me with this?" Chambers appeared in the back of the truck with a videocam in his arms, the tripod stuck awkwardly in the crook of one elbow and in danger of slipping out. She walked up the ramp and slid it carefully from his arms.
"Thanks," he said. He'd been quiet too, but now he gave her a long look, the way he did when he wanted to initiate conversation. He walked down the ramp in front of her with short, careful steps, and waited while she set the tripod up. It took some time to get it to stand straight in the sand.
"So how're you doing, Lena?" He carefully nestled the camera atop the tripod.
She was on her way back to work on the dish and jerked her head to look back at him. He'd never called her Lena before. At first she almost yelled at him. Don't call me that. . . Lena is dead. Lena doesn't exist anymore. Only Urick, soldier of the People's Liberation Army. But his expression was concerned. Concerned about me? she wondered.
No matter. We're all going to die soon.
"All right," she answered shortly, and went over to squat by the transmitter.
Chambers was silent. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye; he was studying her intently. Finally, he said, "I want you to know how much I admire the way you've handled yourself through all this."
If he'd said all this sooner, maybe it would have mattered. She shrugged. "I did what I had to do."
"Which is more than most people do." He paused. "Especially when it comes to . . . killing. I know it isn't easy."
"Do you?" She gave him a hard look.
"No," Chambers said quickly, bitterly. "No, I don't really know. I've never killed anyone face-to-face, the way you did today. Doing it long distance was hard enough." Ashamed, he looked away.
She sat on her haunches, staring at him. She felt a surge of accomplishment, of pride. He admires me. He's envious of my strength. At the same time, it was unsettling, frightening.