Jumping to Conclusions by Christina Jones Read Free Book Online

Hampton-Hyde had quivered. 'Well, if that's all you've got, we'll just have to make the most of it. Don't flaunt your bosoms at the boys though – that's my advice.' She'd delved into her pocket and produced an envelope. 'We've wasted enough time already, so here's the cheque.'
    Jemima had wrinkled her nose. 'You just want me to give him the cheque? Dressed like this? Then what on earth is that cake thing for?'
    Mrs Hampton-Hyde had almost stamped her feet. 'Good Lord! Don't these places give you gels any instructions? You pop inside the cake and then when Simon comes into the room, you leap out through the top and present him with the cheque. Simple. Simple.'
    'What?' Realisation had started to dawn. 'You mean ....? In there? And then ....?'
    Mr Hampton-Hyde blushed. 'It was my idea. I'd seen it on a lot of Hollywood movies. Marilyn Monroe did it all the time. I thought –'
    'Then you thought wrong. I'm sorry, but I just don't do this sort of thing. I do have some integrity. Some principles. This is sexism in the extreme. Ow!' She'd glared at Mrs Hampton-Hyde. 'Take your hands off me! I won't...'
    Mrs Hampton-Hyde had obviously been Jabba the Hutt in a previous existence. 'We're paying. And paying dearly. In you go!'
    Lifted from under the armpits, Jemima had been tumbled inside the monstrous cake while the Hampton-Hydes had frantically fastened the tissue paper top. The spike heels had caught in the fishnet; the tulle had slipped from barely-covering to indecent exposure. Shivering with rage and hating Petra, Magenta and Simon Hampton-Hyde with equal ferocity, Jemima had clenched her teeth, clasped her knees and prayed for oblivion.
    Loud roars of very drunk rugby-playing male laughter had echoed above her. She'd heard Mrs Hampton-Hyde's twitter and Mr Hampton-Hyde's answering guffaw.
    'Out! Out! Out!'
    Jemima had sat, still clutching her knees, not moving.
    'I say!' Mrs Hampton-Hyde had rapped smartly on the cardboard icing. 'Come on! Leap!'
    'Leap yourself,' Jemima had muttered. 'I'm not coming out of here even if you use a flame-thrower.'
    'Out! Out! Out!' the voices howled.
    'Bugger off!' Jemima howled back.
    Clutched by half a dozen pairs of scrum-trained hands the cake had started to rock wildly from side to side. The stilettos gouged into her calves. Jemima tumbled forwards as the cake rolled backwards. Her spectacles slipped down her nose and crunched ominously beneath her. Sounds of tearing paper were accompanied by loud cheers. Shafts of daylight had penetrated the murky cardboard gloom, and with a further hefty shove, no doubt from Mrs Hampton-Hyde, Jemima had rolled out on to the revolting blue and yellow carpet.
    She'd lifted her head and stared short-sightedly into Simon Hampton-Hyde's blood-shot green eyes.
    'Wow.' He'd grinned lasciviously. 'And gift-unwrapped, too. Come here, darling ...'
    Jemima had scrambled to her knees, and wrapped her arms defensively round her nakedness. Simon's rugby-player chums were whooping with red-faced delight as he reached towards her.
    'Take your hands off me,' she'd hissed. 'Here's your cheque. Happy birthday. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going home – and don't touch me!'
    Simon had pocketed the envelope without opening it and licked his lips. 'I never touch what I can't afford – and I can certainly afford you! Come here ...'
    'Leave me alone!' Jemima screeched, turning beseeching eyes towards the blurred outline of the Hampton-Hydes. 'For God's sake – stop him!'
    Fuzzily, the Hampton-Hydes had remained rooted to the spot. Mrs Hampton-Hyde had even been smiling indulgently. Mr Hampton-Hyde was practically dribbling. Feeling Simon's hot hands grasping greedily through the tulle, Jemima had staggered upright on the unfamiliar heels. Instinctive self-preservation had zoomed to her rescue.
    The baying rugby chums had fallen silent as Simon let out a howl of purple-faced rage and stuffed his fingers beneath his armpit.
    'Oh, I say.' Mrs Hampton-Hyde had wobbled towards