Junie B. Jones Is a Beauty Shop Guy by Barbara Park Read Free Book Online

1 / My Brand-new Different Name
    My name is Junie B. Jones. The B stands for Beatrice. Except I don’t like Beatrice. I just like B and that’s all.
    Only guess what? That doesn’t even matter anymore! ’Cause I am changing my name to a brand-new
different
name!
    It popped right into my head when I waked up this morning!
    That’s how come I jumped out of bed. And I zoomed to the kitchen to tell Mother and Daddy.
    They were sitting at the breakfast table.
    “People! People! Guess what? Guess what? I am changing my name to a brand-new different name! And it is the loveliest name I ever heard of!”
    Mother was feeding my baby brother named Ollie. Daddy was reading his paper.
    They did not pay attention to me.
    I climbed up on my chair and shouted my new name real loud.
    “PINKIE GLADYS GUTZMAN! MY NEW NAME IS PINKIE GLADYS GUTZMAN!”
    Just then, Daddy looked at me over the top of the paper. ’Cause
now
he was paying attention!
    “Excuse me? Could you run that by me one more time?” he asked. “Your new name is Pinkie Gladys
what?”
    I clapped my hands real happy.
    “GUTZMAN!” I shouted very thrilled. “PINKIE GLADYS GUTZMAN! AND SO FROM NOW ON EVERYBODY HAS TO CALL ME THAT. OR ELSE I WILL NOT EVEN ANSWER! OKAY, DADDY? OKAY?”
    I hugged myself.
    “Isn’t it just the cutest name you ever heard of? ’Cause Pinkie is the loveliest color I ever saw! Plus Gladys Gutzman is the snack lady at school. And so who wouldn’t want to be named after
that
woman? That’s what I would like to know!”
    Daddy shook his head.
    “I don’t know. This doesn’t really sound like a good idea to me,” he said.
    I did a frown at that guy.
    “Why, Daddy? How come? How come it doesn’t sound good?”
    “Well, for one thing, it’s much too long,” he said. “No one will be able to remember a name as long as that one.”
    I tapped on my chin.
    “Hmm,” I said. “Hmm, hmm, hmm.”
    Then all of a sudden, my whole face got happy.
    “Hey! I got it! I got the answer!”
    After that, I zoomed to my room. And I got some paper. And I zoomed right back again.
    “A name tag! We will make a name tag!” I said. “That way, people can
read
my new name. And they won’t even have to remember it!”
    I gave the paper to Mother.
    “Write it down! Write it down! Write mynew name on this paper! Then we can pin it right on my clothes!”
    Mother did a frown at Daddy. “Way to go, Ace,” she said, kind of mumbling.
    After that, she wrote my new name on the paper. And she pinned it to my p.j.’s.
    I danced all around the floor.
    “PINKIE GLADYS GUTZMAN! MY NAME IS PINKIE GLADYS GUTZMAN!” I sang real joyful.
    Mother and Daddy didn’t say any words. They just kept on looking at me.
    Finally, Daddy got up from the table.
    “Well…gotta go,” he said. “I’ve got an appointment to get a haircut.”
    Mother springed out of her chair. She grabbed Daddy by his shirt.
    “Oh no you don’t. You
can’t,
” she said. “I have an appointment to take Ollie to thedoctor this morning, remember? If you need to get your hair cut, you’re going to have to take
you-know-who
with you.”
    I tapped on her.
    “Gutzman,” I said. “The name is Pinkie Gladys Gutzman.”
    Daddy runned his fingers through his hair. Then he did a big sigh. And he told me to hurry and get dressed.
    I jumped way high in the air.
    “HURRAY!” I shouted. “HURRAY! HURRAY! PINKIE GLADYS GUTZMAN IS GOING TO THE BARBER SHOP WITH HER DADDY! AND SHE REALLY ENJOYS THAT PLACE!”
    After that, I twirled and twirled all over the kitchen. Only too bad for me…’Cause I accidentally twirled into the refrigerator and the stove and the dishwasher.
    I got knocked on the floor.
    My head made a loud clunking sound.
    I felt it real careful.
    “Good news,” I said. “No damage.”
    After that, I jumped back up.
    And I ran to get dressed for the barber shop.

2 / Meeting Maxine
    Me and Daddy drove in the car a real long time.
    It was not that enjoyable.
    “Are we there yet?