Keep Holding On by Susane Colasanti Read Free Book Online Page A

people she thought were her friends started fading away. And that’s when I started lying.
    Lying isn’t something I ever wanted to do. I lied because I had to. When mother stopped taking care of me, I made up this story about how she was in the hospital. Which somehow evolved into this whole big thing about how she might die. I was only trying to justify my humiliating clothes and lunches. The plan was to tell everyone she got better after a few weeks. But my friends found out I lied. One of them saw mother at the post office and told everyone. Sherae was the only one who didn’t hate me. Peoplestarted calling me a liar. Warner started making fun of my lunches. Carly started bullying me. And they never stopped.
    The thing is, I don’t entirely regret that I lied. I’d rather have the whole school hate me than everyone know my truth.
    The girls at the next table are laughing again. I refuse to open my flat lunch bag. Pretending I’m looking at the clock, I peek at Julian.
    He’s looking right at me.
    I look back at him.
    He doesn’t look away.
    He smiles at me.
    I smile back.
    And then a gob of something smacks into the back of my head.
    The girls at the next table stare. Warner’s table is roaring with laughter.
    No one comes over to help me.
    More kids turn to look. It gets eerily quiet.
    I do not want to know what’s in my hair.
    I have to know what’s in my hair.
    I reach back and tentatively touch the gob. It’s mashed potatoes.
    Warner finds this to be hilarious.
    But that’s not even the worst part. The worst part is that Julian saw the whole thing. He was looking right at me when it happened.
    Julian Porter just saw me get smacked in the head with a gob of mashed potatoes.
    There’s only one option.
    I stand up, grab my things, and head for the door. Some mashed potatoes slide down my hair and hit the floor with a splat. Kids are giving me wide eyes and covering their smirks and gawking as I pass them.
    I slam against the door to push it open. The monitor is yelling at me that I can’t leave. I want to yell back that he should do his job. Where was he when the mashed potatoes were flying?
    But I don’t yell. I don’t say anything. I just leave. And I’m never going back.

seven
tuesday, april 19
(43 days left)
    Study hall is a lot less interesting when you’re not making out with a hot boy. I thought about cutting. But where would I go?
    I’m about to take out my physics worksheet when something outside catches my eye. These windows overlook the student parking lot. Carly and Audrey are messing around out there like they don’t even care that anyone could see. When I sneak out to hook up with Matt, I always use the side door by the gym. There aren’t any windows down there. And our place is so desolate that no one’s ever caught us. But Carly and Audrey are practically daring someone to catch them. Carly is sitting on Audrey’s hood. Audrey is telling a story with lots of animated hand motions.
    It’s so weird that Audrey hangs out with Carly now. I’ve watched her go from a Pretty Perfect Popular girl to getting tangled up in this bad-girl phase. What would make a person trade in that life for this one?

    I have a plan. It’s temporary, but it should let me avoid the cafeteria for the rest of the week. Instead of shuffling along with everyone going to lunch, I’m pretending that I have to get something from my locker. I keep pretending until the bell rings.
    When the halls are almost empty, I take out my flat lunch bag. This is the tricky part. There’s usually a monitor standing just inside the cafeteria door trying to herd in loiterers. If he catches me darting for the stairway near the door, he’ll yell at me to come back. The dude knows who has lunch when.
    I head toward the cafeteria. The monitor’s stationed at his spot by the door. There’s a loud banging noise from inside. Kids start yelling. He goes to investigate.
    Now’s my chance.
    I lunge for the stairway and fly