Keepers of the Covenant by Lynn Austin Read Free Book Online Page A

unborn infant. Why would God doom his child—all their children—to such a short life?
    Asher left his work to talk with his brothers, unwinding his turban as he walked closer, using the end of it to wipe the sweat from his face. “I told Jude that it’s a waste of time to keep making pots all day,” he said. “Why not stop and enjoy the few months we have left?”
    “And I told him that we still need to earn money to feed our families,” Jude said.
    Asher responded with a huff. “Right. Let’s fatten everyone up like calves in the stall, even though we’ve been sentenced to death. In fact, maybe we should hold a banquet!”
    “Would you rather we all starved to death before our enemies have a chance to kill us?” Jude asked. “Because starvation is an agonizing way to die, you know.”
    “And being slaughtered isn’t agonizing?”
    “Stop . . . please . . .” Ezra held up his hands.
    “Is there any hope at all?” Asher asked. “That’s what I want to know.”
    “As the psalmist wrote, our hope is in the Almighty One’sunfailing love,” Ezra said. But did he really believe that, or were they mere words?
    “I hope you’ve made up your mind to lead us,” Jude said. “We need a strong leader more than ever.”
    Ezra spread his hands. “How can I lead if I don’t have any answers?”
    “Then find answers! Give us hope or understanding or something,” Jude said. “You’re the expert on God, the great theologian. We don’t care about your doubts, just tell us what God is doing to us!”
    “Have you heard about Rebbe Nathan?” Asher asked before Ezra could reply.
    “No . . . what about him?”
    “He resigned as head of the house of assembly. He’s suffered such severe pains in his chest that he’s bedridden.”
    “We were discussing his replacement this morning,” Jude said, “and the other men requested I ask you.”
    Ezra groaned. “You’re the natural-born leader in this family, Jude. Not me.”
    Jude rubbed his forehead, leaving behind a smear of clay. When he spoke, Ezra heard the emotion in his voice, the unshed tears that threatened to choke him. “I can’t lead. It takes all my energy to be strong for Devorah and the girls. I can’t do more than that. I can’t be strong for our people, too. You need to help us, Ezra. You don’t have a family like the rest of us do.”
    As difficult as it was to face his own death, Ezra knew this ordeal was even worse for men like Jude and Asher with wives and children. Ezra wouldn’t have to spend the final months of his life struggling to console the people he loved. He could stay awake day and night as he had been doing, falling asleep at his study table with his scrolls and sputtering oil lamp in front of him. And he could mourn and weep alone instead of pretending to be strong for someone else. Yet Ezra envied his brothers now more than ever before. What would it be like tofind comfort in a loving wife’s arms? Who would he hold in his final moments of life?
    “Ezra . . .” Jude said, breaking the silence. “You’re a million miles away again.”
    “Sorry. My mind seems to spin in useless circles lately.” He found it harder and harder to concentrate each day. And while he used to love maneuvering through legal labyrinths, exploring circuitous rabbit trails in the written and oral Torah, this dilemma had no end—or maybe the end was too final. A dead end. He massaged his eyes with his thumb and forefinger, pressing against the throbbing pain in his head.
    “God is just, but He is also merciful,” he finally said. “Even if we deserve this punishment, we can plead for His mercy. Either He’ll spare us or He won’t. I don’t know what more I can do as a leader except tell everyone to fast and pray.”
    “There’s plenty more you can do,” Jude shouted. “Stop stuttering excuses like Moses and make up your mind to lead us!”
    “Help us make sense of this,” Asher added. “Give us hope.”
    “I don’t