Home From Within by Jennifer McCartney, Lisa Maggiore Read Free Book Online

his buzz cut. His fists looked like tightly wound pieces of barbed wire.
    “Jim, will you please go downstairs? I want to make sure those boys don’t try to get into the house.”
    Her father’s chest was heaving. “You’re a whore and a liar.”
    “Jim, please,” her mother pleaded. He backed up and slowly walked out of the room with her mother following. Jessica could no longer hold in her pain. Her tears tumbled out, spilling all over the pristine Egyptian cotton comforter.
    Later that night, she was awoken by the sounds of drilling. Standing between the hall and her open bedroom door with an electric drill in hand was her father. His large mass was shaded in dark as he worked with only a headlamp. He decided the only way to keep a better eye on Jessica was to take off her door. This way he or Katherine would have easier access to the goings-on in her room. Jessica pretended she was sleeping when her father announced this out loud, but it did not matter to her anyway. He had won.
     

     
    Before Jessica left for school, she placed a welcome home letter for her father on the kitchen island. Leaving a note was an easier way to bridge the hello and awkwardness of him not being in her life for two months. In the note, she included her grades, the Honor Society and Key Club information, along with a few tidbits of her personal life. She was unsure if he cared about that last part, but it was a continued effort for Jessica to connect with him on an intimate level.
    During homeroom, Jessica sat with the regulars, and Paul. No words were spoken about yesterday. Even Jeff did not bring it up. As abruptly as Jeff asked her out, he had stopped paying her any attention. The whole situation made Jessica feel strange, but she was glad there was no weirdness between them. She just wanted things normal again.
    At lunchtime, she spotted Paul with his friends heading toward the outside door. A girl named Alicia chased after them and grabbed Paul’s ass. Jessica couldn’t believe what she saw. Paul turned around and put her in a playful headlock; it was the type of headlock a boy would give to a girl he liked. Jessica lost her appetite watching the scene play out. Alicia was a sophomore according to Marilee. She liked bad boys and the rumor was she’d had sex with at least five. The girls couldn’t deny why he’d be attracted to her—perfectly feathered blond hair, kick-ass body, and makeup to show off her model-like face.
    Marilee pushed away her tater tots and threw her napkin in. “How can we compete with that?”
    Jessica never thought about having to compete for a boy. It was new territory for her, and she couldn’t picture herself fighting for her man. Paul was not even her man, well at least in real life. Her fantasies were a different story. At night, she would put pillows alongside her body and pretend they were sharing the same bed together. Part of her felt it was wrong, but the lonely part that ached for love and affection wanted more.
    “I wonder if that’s his girlfriend,” Jessica said.
    “Who knows? But hey, look around. We’re in paradise.”
    Jessica and Marilee scanned the lunchroom looking for cute boys. All they saw were guys who had not reached their full potential or puberty. Some of them still looked like they were ten, all skinny with acne and nervous twitches. The girls looked at each other and busted out laughing.
    “I guess we need a new plan,” Marilee said.
    During Humanities, Jessica thought she saw a hickey on the side of Paul’s neck. She had learned about them in computer class when a sophomore girl was showing off her hickeys, bragging about who gave them to her. Jessica was unsure how the hickeys got there, so she asked Marilee, who then asked Julie.
    “Like, a boy sucks on your neck so he can leave that mark. Gross,” Marilee exclaimed.
    “My parents would kill me. No, they would kill the boy,” Jessica said.
    “You’re not kidding. Your dad would come up to school and shoot