Keeping Secrets by Linda Byler Read Free Book Online

place to be.”
    “How do you know? And how do you expect me to know, living the sheltered Amish life I have always lived?”
    “How do I know? Because I was a foster kid,” Mark said, emotion causing him to whisper.
    Sadie was incredulous. “You were?”
    “Yes.”
    “Why? I mean… How could you have been? Your parents were Amish. Why didn’t your relatives keep you? Why in the world were you put in a foster home? Didn’t you have any sisters or brothers? No aunts or uncles?”
    The questions poured from Sadie, like water rushing and tumbling toward the ocean. Her desperate need to know more about Mark’s life crowded out all reason.
    “If I tell you why I was a foster kid, you will never look at me again.”
    The words were stiff, forced between clenched teeth, as if keeping his teeth in that position would keep Mark’s past hidden and intact.
    Sadie faced him, forced him to look at her. “Try me.”
    She had never seen eyes change the way his did, going from brown to deep black then back to brown. But it was a hooded, reserved brown. Suspicious even. Mistrusting. Finally, when Sadie’s gaze did not waver, his eyes acknowledged her request, but without faith, barren and afraid. Then he took the plunge, baring his soul.
    “I found my father. He was drowned. On purpose.”
    “No!” The word was wrenched from Sadie and she lowered her head, sobs completely controlling her.
    “See. I told you. Now I did it. You will never speak to me again.”
    There were no words from Sadie, only the heaving of her shoulders as he got slowly to his feet.
    She felt his presence leaving and was jolted to reality. She raised her tear-streaked face, and in a desperate need to keep him there, blurted out, “Oh Mark, you poor, poor thing! How old were you? I cannot imagine. Please don’t say you’ll never speak to me again. Don’t even think it. I care about you, Mark. I do.”
    “No, you don’t.”
    “Yes … I do. Please, Mark. You said…”
    “Just forget what I said. Go back to work now. Go find yourself a good, normal guy who will make you a good, normal husband. Forget about me and the fact that I came back to Montana.”
    Suddenly Sadie grasped both of his arms, held on, and said clearly, “I am not going to do that. And neither are you. I’m only going to say this once, and then it’s up to you. I love you.”

Chapter 4

    M AM WAS ALARMED WHEN she saw Sadie after work that day. Her oldest daughter’s face was so pale, she looked sick. Her typically sunny, blue eyes looked dark gray, as if thunder had hovered over them all day.
    “Sadie? Are you all right?”
    It was the tone of her mother’s voice, the kindness in her face, that unraveled Sadie completely, a spool of yarn with one end tugged relentlessly.
    She threw herself into her mother’s arms, and like a six-year-old who felt she was punished unfairly, she hiccupped and warbled and cried and talked. Her sisters gathered around the kitchen table, clucking and oohing and aahing and sympathizing until the whole day had been laid bare for the entire family to examine. Even Dat caught the tail end of the story when he came home from work an hour later.
    They laughed at Dorothy’s view of Bertie, exclaimed at the jewels, and became doe-eyed when Sadie described how Mark Peight walked down the garden walkway. They all added their opinions, but grew completely embarrassed at Sadie’s announcement of love to him.
    Dat caught Mam’s eye, and shook his head.
    “So there you are. I know I’m not allowed to see Mark, but I also know I want to be with him until the end of my days. I love him. I know my life will not be as easy as some, but I need to be with him. I feel it’s my destiny.”
    After a pause, Dat spoke softly, gravely.
    “Well, Sadie, if you believe that it is God’s will, would you give Mam and me a few weeks to pray about this? We’re not going to forbid it, but we need to be very, very careful. Then we will see what unfolds.”
    “I can tell