Killing Honor by S. M. Butler Read Free Book Online Page B

I’d spent months getting ready for boot camp and BUD/S. I’d pushed myself through training, never ringing that damn bell. I’d been so focused on the goal. Devyn had supported that goal, and I’d put a ring on her finger when I’d shipped out.
    I let out a shuddered breath. I’d dragged her into a world of fear and hatred and she had no idea. Someone out there knew my face. The woman. Or the other men who’d escaped. What if there had been cameras that weren’t destroyed?
    Was that why I was having the dream? Because I was worried about the crazy I’s inflicted on my family. It had felt so much like reality, even in its ridiculousness. And now here I was, afraid to go back to bed, afraid to touch my wife in fear that I might inadvertently kill her.
    God… I was a fucking mess.
    ~*~*~
    Devyn
    Morning came, with the space beside me cold and bare. Brody hadn’t come back last night. I wasn’t sure how to take that. He’d woken up screaming, and then told me nothing was wrong, yet he couldn’t even look at me.
    It wasn’t right. He wasn’t right. I hated this.
    I laid there, unsure if I should move yet. I glanced at the clock. Five thirty. The twins would be up soon, if they weren’t already. Sometimes, they were content to sit in their cribs for an hour or so before they wanted out.
    But today, I didn’t hear anything.
    After a few minutes of silence, I decided to get up. I headed toward the girls’ room, but found it empty and the sound of child laughter drifted up the stairwell. Curious, I padded down the stairs to the living room, but there was no one in there either. The voices I heard were in the kitchen.
    I stuck my head in, wrapping my robe tightly around myself as I came in. The sight there completely blew me away.
    Brody sat at the table, with the girls strapped into their high chairs. Jackie flew a piece of cereal around, giggling to herself while Brody played some takeaway game with Riley to persuade her to eat rather than dump her food everywhere. From the looks of it, he’d only been partially successful.
    I watched them from the doorway for a moment. This was what I’d dreamed of for the last two years. To see my husband spending time with his children, to watch him bond with his girls. I choked up at the sight of them, letting out a strangled sob I didn’t want to let loose.
    Brody looked up at the sound, and the smile on his face fell. “Devyn… I didn’t… Are you okay?”
    I nodded. “Yes. It’s just… I’ve never seen this before. I thought about it a lot. You. Them. Us.” Tears flooded my eyes, and I fought them with everything I could to keep them from falling. “It’s beautiful.”
    He stared at me with such intensity, I wondered if he was mad. And then as quickly as the intensity came, it was gone. “I didn’t sleep much last night, so I was awake when they woke up. I thought… it might be nice to hang out with them.”
    “Da da da da da da!” Jackie yelled. She liked the sound apparently, because she did it some more in various volumes from soft to loud. And he was completely oblivious to any one else in the room.
    “You had a nightmare.”
    Brody didn’t say anything. My guess was that he didn’t want to talk about it. Hell, he could barely look at me this morning. His focus was on the girls, feeding Riley one piece at a time. By the amount of cereal on the floor, I’d guessed that he’d discovered Riley’s favorite pastime.
    “Want to talk about it?” I asked. Maybe a push might help. “The dream.”
    “No.”
    Denied.
    “Oookay,” I replied. I went to the coffee pot and opened the cabinet above it. I got my favorite mug out and filled it with coffee, leaving room for milk and sugar. I stirred the liquid as I came back to the table and sat in the seat across from Brody. “So, what’s the plan for today?”
    “I don’t know. I don’t need to be at the base until Monday.”
    “You don’t have leave?” I tried not to let my disappointment through.