Know Not Why: A Novel by Hannah Johnson Read Free Book Online

seconds.
    And so I let Kristy win this round. “Yeah,” I
say, nodding compassionately. “Yeah, boys can be bastards.”
    “Right? Thank you. ” She squeezes my hand
tight. Really tight. Jeez. How can someone so tiny be so – ow, ow,
fingernail in the flesh, fingernail in the flesh. But there, finally , she smiles at me, and that makes the new and
surprising pain worth it. “I knew you’d understand.”
    “Of course,” I say chivalrously. She’s still
looking at me with those eyes of hers, and all of a sudden the
moment has this now-or-never quality to it. “Listen, seriously, if
you ever want to, like, talk, or get together to talk … maybe even
outside of work, then—”
    Suddenly, her eyes turn huge and furious,
Jekyll-to-Hyde, bam . It’s all I can do not to jump away from
her.
    “NO.”
    Whoa. Wait. What? Shit . What did I
do?
    “Um,” I say, failure oozing out of my every
pore, “okay, I, uh, didn’t mean—”
    “Oh, no .” She yanks her hand out of mine,
stands up, and glares out of the display window with that same
bright fury. I have the genius idea to follow her line of vision.
There, about to step into the front door, is a black guy my age
with a bouquet of flowers, a contrite expression, and way more
handsomeness than one individual should ever be endowed with.
    “Don’t you come in here!” Kristy cries, just as
the bells threaten his entrance with one faint little ringy noise.
The guy freezes. “Don’t let him in, okay, Howie? Seriously. Don’t
let him in, don’t even, he is not coming in here.”
    I’m majorly confused, and all I can really
figure out is that there’s something about this guy that gives me a
bad, bad feeling.
    “Who is that?” I ask dumbly. “Your brother?”
    “It’s my stupid boyfriend,” Kristy replies,
glaring at the door. And it’s just like – it’s like getting
sucker-punched and drenched with icy water and being forced to
listen to Joanna Newsom all at the same time, because I don’t care
how bad Amber wants to convert me, it’s always going to be
like getting stabbed in the ears hearing that chick. This, this is
like getting stabbed in the everywhere. “But, whatever, it’s not
like he cares about me. He wouldn’t even—”
    “Boyfriend,” I repeat, dazed and useless.
    “Yeah,” Kristy replies. She’s still frowning at
the door, and I find myself pissed off that this isn’t doing to her
what it is to me. She must have noticed, right? She was the one all, ‘come and get me, big boy, don’t mind me while I
hold your arm,’ like, seriously, what the fuck ? “Although
apparently he’s comfortable with just throwing away everything two weeks before our one-year anniversary!” She
shouts the last part toward the door.
    “Sweetie,” Kristy’s boyfriend, Kristy’s boyfriend says. “Just let me in, okay, and we can talk about
it.”
    “No! You promised you’d go with me!
Everyone’s expecting you to be there! And now you won’t be,
and I’ll be there all by myself, just because you have to go to
stupid work when those jerks said they’d give you the time
off already, I told you that you should quit, they’re so
mean to you, they can’t just control your life like that and I hate
having to watch you so miserable all the time—”
    “I know,” The Boyfriend says. He’s starting to
shiver. Good, I say. Let the bastard freeze, I say. “Stuff’s gotten
really hectic over there, that’s all. Maybe I can get the weekend
off, but—”
    “You better,” Kristy pouts. It’s like she’s
forgotten I even exist. “Or I will never, never, never forgive you. You know you’ll regret it afterwards if you
don’t go, Reddy, you know you will, you can’t keep
sacrificing everything for that awful—”
    “Kris, I’ll do the best that I can. I promise,
okay? Just don’t be mad.”
    “I am mad,” Kristy insists, arms folded
adorably.
    “I got you roses.”
    “I’m mad .”
    “Kristybee, it’s freezing out here.”
    “I