Ladies From Hell by Keith Roberts Read Free Book Online Page A

she’d have to resign; and the Service doesn’t give second chances. Not these days.
    When there was only a mouthful of wine left I got up and walked to the bridge. I poured it into the water. It was for the Nymph; her last exaction of the night. Then I put my tired old body to bed.
    I was reading the morning paper when the Overseer came through. He looked as if he’d had a rough night. The only thing about him that was showing colour was his eyes; they were pink. I gave him the time of day but he didn’t answer directly. Instead he came and stood over me. Hesaid, “I suppose you’ve got an explanation for that disgusting exhibition?”
    “Of course,” I said cheerfully. “I didn’t think you’d be back so soon. Have a good trip?”
    He yelled, “Get on your feet when you’re talking to me!”
    I lowered the paper and looked at him.
    He had clenched his fists. “This time,” he hissed, “you’ll go Inside. I’ll make sure of it.” He turned and marched out; and I heard the Office door slam.
    I sighed, and folded the paper. I went through to the Barn, stood staring round and scratching my head. I didn’t feel like tackling anything that needed too much concentration. In the end I decided I’d make it a varnishing day. I worked till lunch-time, but he didn’t show up again.
    James came down in the afternoon with a canvas holdall. He ferreted round in the spare room for a time, left with it bulging. Half an hour later the big Alpha ghosted out through the gates. I wondered if that meant I was
non grata
with Lady A as well.
    George reappeared at six. He stood in the doorway for a bit as if he was unsure what to say. Finally he coughed. He said, “Would you come through, please? There are some things we have to talk about.”
    I put my brush down and followed him. Always ready to oblige, that’s me; as long as folk keep a civil tongue.
    If anything he was looking worse than he had in the morning. There was a threequarters-empty bottle of Scotch on the desk blotter, and reinforcements on the filing cabinet. Obviously he’d had a hard day as well. He sat down heavily, and there was silence. Finally he said, “I’m still waiting.”
    “What for?”
    “An explanation,” he said. “Of last night.”
    “You’ve had it already,” I said shortly. “Nothing to add.”
    He poured himself a stiff one. His hand was vibrating, but he was still taking it neat. He said, “I suppose you know she’s gone.”
    “Yes,” I said.
    He glared at me. “And have you considered the possibilitythat you might have made her pregnant?”
    I wondered which was bugging him most; his Assistant’s fall from grace, or the prospect of breeding between tax classes. “No way,” I said cheerfully. “She’s got a coil. Uses spermicides as well, sort of a belt and braces syndrome—”
    He yelled again. “
I don’t want to know!
”
    “Sorry,” I said contritely. “I thought you’d need it for the Report.”
    He knew The Word as well. He used it, very loudly indeed. He said, “You know, and I know, I can’t make a Report.”
    “In that case,” I said, “I don’t see what all the fuss is about.”
    “No,” he said savagely, “you wouldn’t.” He took a gulp of Scotch. “There is a small matter of a ruined career,” he said. “But that doesn’t affect you, does it?”
    “Since you put it so bluntly,” I said, “no. It doesn’t.”
    He narrowed his eyes. He said, “You
planned
it. You planned the whole damned thing …”
    I looked at him. “How could I?” I said. “I’m not psychic.”
    He said, “Sometimes I wonder.” He fumbled a cigarette alight, and shook his head. “How do you do it?” he said. “That’s what I’d like to know. Just how …”
    “Same as everybody else,” I said, “as far as I’m aware.”
    His temper was getting the better of him again. “You’re short, fat and hairy,” he said. “And sometimes you smell like a goat …”
    “That’s probably the answer,” I