Last Night Another Soldier by Andy McNab Read Free Book Online Page A

luck. I started to worry that maybe I wouldn’t be quite so lucky next time around, and that does your head in after a while. I kept worrying that I might let everyone down, or worse, end up getting one of my mates killed. You know, I still think of that Iraqi now and again, usually when I smell blood or cigarette breath. But you know how I get over that fear?’ He leant his giant head forward so he was just an inch away from my face and looked me directly in the eye, waiting for me to ask.
    ‘How?’
    Toki’s stare remained constant. Only his lipsmoved as he spoke, stressing every word as if each one was gold dust. ‘I say to myself …’ He leant into the back of his chair and raised himself to his full height for greater effect. ‘I say to myself … Bollocks!’
    I leaned back too, confused and disappointed. ‘What? That it?’
    Toki simply shrugged, raising his hands towards the roof of the tent before letting them fall down at his sides again. ‘That’s all you need. Look, I’m a soldier, right? And as the saying goes, “You choose your branch, you take your chance.” It’s not for everyone, but everyone doesn’t have to be here, do they?’
    I shook my head, but I wasn’t really sure I was getting any of this. ‘No, suppose not. So?’
    ‘And so, bollocks to it.’ Toki looked triumphant, as though he had discovered the mystery of the universe. Then he spoke almost in a whisper, as though he was sharing the biggest secret of them all.
    ‘When I’m out there and it’s all kicking off, I reckon I’m probably dead anyway. So anything I do to stop that from happening to me or my mates is a bonus. Do you get it?’ He looked towards me eagerly, with a big smile on his face.
    It felt like I was talking to some Jedi masterout of Star Wars , but I still didn’t get it. ‘S’pose so,’ I said, more to please him than anything else.
    He looked a bit disappointed by his Jedi trainee’s lack of enthusiasm, so he added a final explanation. ‘Listen, I know you won’t lose your nerve because you want to stay alive. You’ve proved that. Plus, you know you’ve got an even bigger responsibility to keep your mates alive, and I know you would never let them down, would you?’
    I hung on to every word, hoping that in the end it would all make sense to me. ‘Hope not.’ I know I still sounded a bit reluctant, but it was the best I could manage. I gave him a weak smile to show that I really appreciated the effort he was making.
    ‘Listen, you’ll be all right.’ He smiled back, like he knew it was time to lighten the mood. ‘You haven’t sent a bluey to your mum this week, so let’s see how your writing’s improved. Then we’ll do a bit of that coursework. Maybe then I’ll think about talking to Sergeant MacKenzie for you.’
    That was the best news I’d had since our chat began. The rest I needed to think about. Now that we were back on safer territory, I had a sudden brainwave. ‘You know what? I think I’llwrite to my dad instead. It’ll be the first time. There’s something important he needs to know about. There are gonna be a few words I learnt about today that I can’t spell …’
    I reached for a bluey from the neat stash of them under Si’s bed, and fumbled for the pen in the bottom of my pocket. I began to write, stopping every so often for Toki to check and help me with my spelling.
    Dear Dad,
    Hope you are OK. I don’t know your postcode but reckon this should get to you OK. Because me and Mum haven’t seen you for years, you probably don’t know that I’m in the Army now. Well, the bluey gives it away I suppose!
    I’m in Afghanistan and I’ve got about three months left. I’m in the Rifles as it happens, not the Guards. Mum’s OK. She just worries a lot. Anyway, Mum told me that when you were in the Falklands, you were on a ship attacked by Argie planes. She said the ship got blown up and lots of your mates got burnt really bad, and some of them died. Maybe why