Lean On Me (Take My Hand) by Nicola Haken Read Free Book Online Page B

fuck is this going?” I urged. “Because as much as I appreciate you comparing
me to some fat, bald bloke with an alcohol problem, I’m struggling to work out
how the hell you think that’s going to stop me being pissed off with you.”
    “My
point is… I think you hide beneath some of that stuff. I think you’re scared to
let people in… let them see you . I
think you worry about what people think of you and I think your biggest fear is
being seen as different.”
    “You think a lot, don’t you?” I shot back
– my way of avoiding the truth. I would die before I told him every
single word that just came out of his mouth was the truth.
    “Well
maybe I think it because I know how you feel. I know what it’s like to worry
about people judging you… about people thinking you’re weak.”
    “What
the fuck ever,” I said, dismissing him. “You know being a wanker isn’t classed
as an actual disability right?” I
added in a more playful tone. He might have been talking shit but he was only
trying to be nice. Plus, with Emily away Jared is my best friend and I didn’t
like tension between us.
    “You
know I’m kinda surprised you haven’t been bitchslapped in your time.”
    “Oh
I have. But only once… she didn’t dare do it again once she realised I don’t bitchslap – I bitch punch .”
    “Come
here,” he said, cocking his head and signalling me to take up position on his
chest once again. Supporting my weight on my arm, I hitched myself closer to
him and nuzzled into his bare chest. “I didn’t mean to piss you off,” he
whispered, combing through my hair with his fingers. It felt weird for only a
moment before I settled into how unexpectedly comforting it was. “Forgive me?”
    “Forgiven.”
    “Go
out with me?”
    “Fuck
off.”
    Jared
laughed and blew me a kiss. Then I adjusted my cheek on his chest and for the
first time in my life I fell asleep listening to the gentle thrum of another
person’s heart beneath my ear – all the while desperately hoping what
happened between us tonight wouldn’t change anything.
    I
love Jared. There I’ve said it. I love him. As a friend or something more… I’m
not too sure yet. Either way, the thought of losing him makes my chest hurt.

Chapter Five
    Jared
     
    One week into the new year and I can still
taste Rachel on my lips. I can’t describe what we shared on New Years Eve but
it sure as shit wasn’t just sex. Before that night, sex has always been about
the end goal. Everything I did was to bring me that little bit closer to the
point of no return. All I’ve ever thought about was how good it felt, how good I felt…
    But
that night the only thing I could
think about was how soft Rachel felt, how sweet she tasted and how fucking
beautiful she was. The end goal didn’t even come into it until I was right
there. The second I sunk myself into her I knew I would never want to be
anywhere else. My dick had found its forever home before it’d finished taking
its first thrust. All that mattered was her – her end goal was the only thing on my mind and it’s been on it ever
since.
    She’s
still insisting we’re ‘just friends’ even though she knows as well as I do we
are so much more than that. But of course Rachel is Rachel – stubborn.
Though I think she’s softening. She’s stopped telling me to ‘fuck off’ whenever
I make suggestive comments or ask her if she’s ready to say yes yet. Instead I
get an eye-roll or a tut. See? That’s an improvement, right?
     
    Me:
Pub?
     
    It
was my night off and I was bored shitless. There must be over two-hundred
channels on cable and yet there wasn’t a single thing to watch.
     
    Rachel:
Can’t. Got a date with Paul Cezanne ;-)
     
    Whoa… that got my attention.
     
    Me:
Who the fuck is Paul Cezanne?
     
    Rachel:
Aww u jealous???
     
    Me:
Who is he?
     
    Rachel:
Ur so cute! He’s an artist. A very old, very DEAD artist ;-)
     
    Relief
washed through me and it wasn’t until I read her