Learning to Let Go by Cynthia P. O'Neill Read Free Book Online

arm and I flinched.
    Jonathan looked shocked by my movement and I was quick to apologize. What the hell is wrong with me? Jonathan and I are friends.
    He shook his head and took a step back. “Don’t be. You’ve been through so much; you’re bound to be a little jumpy for a while.”
    “It’s your body’s natural defense, given what happened,” the doctor concurred. “You aren’t consciously doing this, it’s really subconscious. It’s not about anyone’s feelings, it’s just a reflex of your mind. If this continues, I would like to recommend you speak to a therapist.”
    “I’ll be fine!” I yelled. Where did that come from? That’s not like me.
    I started to cry and Garrett stepped forward cautiously, hands in the air, showing me that he wasn’t intent on hurting me. His face was filled with sorrow and his movements were slow and paced until he found himself sitting beside me on the bed. His arm gently wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me into his chest, where the waterworks flowed freely. “No one is judging you, darling. You’ve had a traumatic experience and it just takes time to heal.”
    I could feel his lips press gently onto my forehead, which felt heavenly against my skin. I took the opportunity to smell the vanilla muskiness of his scent and my head started spinning, remembering delicious and naughty memories of us together.
    After several minutes, he swept me up into his arms and walked me over to the en-suite bathroom. The doctor insisted I try moving on my own, but Garrett wouldn’t listen to anything he said.
    “She’s weak and emotional and needs to use the bathroom. She can try walking on her own next time.” His tone with the doctor was curt, but he continued to whisper soft words of encouragement to me.
    He walked into the bathroom, turning the light on low and closing the door with his foot. I thought he would let me stand up on my own to walk the couple of steps to the toilet, but he carried me all the way over before sitting me down. He took a few steps back when he saw I was balanced enough to sit.
    My bladder was killing me, but try as I might, I couldn’t go with him watching. “Could you either leave for a few minutes or turn around so I can go?” I felt a flush of embarrassment color my face.
    He squinted at me and his lips pressed into a hard line, but he finally turned around. “I’m not leaving you alone. I made a promise to you that you would never leave my sight again and I meant it.”
    “Fine,” I replied shortly. I wasn’t happy with his response, but I didn’t want to argue, my head was beginning to throb too much.
    Chase must have really done a number on me, because trying to pee burned like hell. I pushed to finish quickly because it stung like crazy. I tried to stand on my own, but Garrett was careful to gather me up in his arms and take me over to the sink to wash my hands.
    “Could I brush my teeth while I’m here?” I asked.
    He nodded, setting me down in the chair at the vanity and grabbing my toothbrush, toothpaste and a cup of water. I looked up into the mirror and saw my reflection for the first time. That was a mistake. My shoulders started to shake as the tears raced down my face. This can’t be me. For five days out, I was still covered in cuts and bruises. I reached for a spot on my head that had a small bandage.
    “Dad had to stitch there,” Garrett supplied. “I’m guessing Chase pushed you into something?”
    I nodded and touched the spot lightly, wincing at how sore it was. What were most surprising were the fading bruises around my neck. I knew he had threatened to cut off my air supply and vaguely remembered him demonstrating it, but didn’t realize how forcefully he was gripping. Tears continued running down my face at the sight of everything.
    Garrett gently rubbed my back and stooped down, catching eyes in the mirror. He leaned into the side of my face, his mouth only inches from my ear. “You’re still the most