LEIF (Blake Security Book 3) by Celina McKane Read Free Book Online Page B

of transferring to Kuwait as I had originally planned, and then I did my best to end my own misery so that she wouldn’t ever have to worry about running into me again. Obviously, I failed at that too.
     
    2013
    Kabul, Afghanistan
     
     
    The heat in the desert was so intense that some days when I was dressed up in all of my gear I felt like I was literally melting. I think if I had to pick what I hated the most about it—that would be it. Sometimes I wondered if I had actually died in one of the explosions we absorbed and I was burning in Hell for what I’d done to Karli. After I left her that day, I’d actually considered ending my own life, but I couldn’t even do that right, so I went back to Afghanistan and hoped that nature and war would take care of it for me. So far I was still breathing, kind of. The heat also made the air so thick that it was almost impossible to suck in a full breath. It was hot once you got it into your chest, and I wondered if it was searing the inside of my lungs.
    “Hey, Sarge!”
    “What?” I snapped at the soldier in the Hummer with me. His name was Manuel Gonzalez, but we called him Gonzo. He was new to the team, and he talked way too freaking much. Sometimes, by the end of the day, my head was pounding like a drum simply from the sound of his voice.
    He looked slightly offended as he said, “I was just going to say it’s quiet today, huh?”
    I gave him a dirty look and said, “Never say that word out here. As soon as you do, the S.O.B.s are gonna send in an eight-year-old suicide bomber.”
    “Sorry, Sarge.” I felt a little bad because other than saying it out loud he was right. It had been a really quiet day. He was driving, and I was in the passenger seat with way too much time to think. I always drove, but today, when I’d come out of my commander’s office, Gonzo had already situated himself in the driver’s side. Our escorts were behind us already, and they looked hot and pissed, so instead of ordering him out, I got in the passenger side. Like everything else in my adult life, I’d live to regret that later.
    I’d been staring out at the barren landscape and thinking about Karli all morning while Gonzo’s voice droned on in the background. It had been over six months since I’d seen her and I was still obsessing over her. I knew there was something wrong with that…with me, but I didn’t have any idea what to do about it. Instead, I’d sent a card and a check for Hunter’s birthday. That was two months ago and she hadn’t cashed the check. I’m guessing she tore it up, or flushed it.
    “It’s hotter than hell out here,” Gonzo said, as if maybe I hadn’t noticed. We may not be expecting an attack, but—out here—we were always ready for it. My helmet was on and so were my goggles. I had on my body armor underneath my fatigues and fire retardant gloves. There was a radio hanging off my hip with a wire that ran up and connected to the speaker on my shoulder. My M4 Carbine was resting against the dash in front of me, and the M9 pistol was locked and loaded and on my hip. It was hotter than hell—and all of that equipment only added to the level of discomfort. 
    “Yep.” Gonzo didn’t need any more response than that. It took him about a second to think of something else to talk about, and for the next ten minutes, he droned on about his girl back home. I strongly considered ordering him to shut up, but just because I hated my life, it didn’t seem like a good enough excuse to take it out on him. He didn’t mean to be annoying. Some people just can’t help it.
    When we got into the partially destroyed and deserted town, I stopped thinking about Karli long enough to focus all of my attention on the buildings coming into view. My job at that moment was to spot a sniper on top of one of the buildings before he spotted us. I also had to watch out for abandoned vehicles, or worse yet, quick moving vehicles that might be on a suicide mission. We passed