Let Me Tell You Something by Caroline Manzo Read Free Book Online Page A

through complex shit every day, and it made me who I am.
    The family dynamic was always evolving and changing—at first my sisters were my best friends and my brothers were my protectors, later on my brothers became my friends as my sisters went off and got friends their own age—but even with the changes somehow it also always stayed the same. We were the Lauritas, and that was that. Our family made sense to us, and that was all that mattered.
    Once my siblings started to marry and we had to add brothers- and sisters-in-law, and then nieces and nephews, it became even more complex. They all fell into the same routines, the cliques just got bigger, and the dynamic got more complicated, but it’s wonderful and has been a true blessing.
    Ask Caroline
    Hi Caroline, I have a troublesome relationship with my sister. We are very different people, with little in common. I feel pressured from other family members to be close to her and come to her aid whenever required, at the cost of any situation I may be experiencing. Is it selfish to want to cut ties in an attempt at self-preservation?
    I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family.” We live in a society that suggests that we should automatically get along and live a fairy-tale existence within the family dynamic. That couldn’t be further from the truth. The simple fact is although you may be related by blood, it doesn’t necessarily mean your personalities will blend—after all, we’re only human. You have the right to your feelings, and a relationship between two people should never be expected or demanded by anyone.
    Although you may not have anything in common with your sister, I’m sure you love her, and if push came to shove and she really needed you, I imagine you’d be there for her. Having said that, it doesn’t mean you need to be her doormat. As an adult you get to choose the people you have relationships with and spend time with.
    I’m sure there is a fair amount of guilt regarding your parents and extended family members, but if you have tried to overcome any issues you have with your sister and you just don’t click, then stop beating yourself up, get over the guilt. We live in a fast-paced world, so use your time and emotions effectively. Don’t overthink things and bring undue stress upon the situation.
    When you are with your sister. be civil, have a conversation, and show respect. Take one day at a time and have no greater expectations than getting through each meeting without confrontation.
    Bottom line is you need to be you and live your life in a way that suits you. As long as you are not adding wood to the fire, your parents should respect your decision to live your life free of stress.
    For all of the ups and downs of a large family, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. To be fifty-one and have all ten siblings and both parents alive and healthy, all talking to each other and with a deep bond between us, makes me the luckiest person on earth. Just don’t ask my siblings—you’ll get a completely different story!
    Never compare the kids
    One lesson I took from growing up with so many siblings that I have applied to my own parenting is to never compare my kids to each other. The worst thing I ever heard when I was little was, Why can’t you be more like your sister? It’s a horrible thing to say to a kid who’s trying to establish her own identity.
    There’s no such thing as
a perfect Christmas.
    Every year when Christmas rolls around the madness begins, crap, I have so much to do, I have to fight the crowds, I have to buy the food, I have to buy the presents, I have to wrap the presents, I have to decorate the house. But I see all of this as part of the fun and find ways to make every aspect of the holidays enjoyable. I wouldn’t trade the insanity for the world (then again, maybe I’m a little