Letting Go by Erosa Knowles Read Free Book Online

mean?” She turned and looked at him, pinning him with her direct gaze.
    “Sometimes. Not much anymore. But yeah…sometimes.” He hadn’t been able to admit that to anyone in years. The truth banished bits of darkness in his heart. He loved football; it had been how he identified himself. The inability to run on the field had crushed him for years.
    She nodded. “I don’t know much about sports, but based on this…” she waved. “You had a great ride. Seems like you had a lot of fun, you saw and did amazing things.”
    Put in that context, he agreed with her. It had been good. Lots of hard work, challenging. The rewards of scoring, of winning, against an equal opponent kept him grounded and primed for more.
    “I wish it had been longer.” He shrugged, pushing back the memory of his accident. It had taken years to release the anger. He'd blamed his wife, fired the housekeeper, and stopped playing with his son. That had been a dark time in his life, which led to more drinking. “Things happen for a reason.”
    She nodded while staring at him. “So you made the journey from pro athlete to conservative candidate; that’s a big jump. Did you make any significant stops on the way?”
    He smiled but didn’t answer. He had taken a chance she’d run screaming, never to return, when he brought her in this room. On a visceral level, he understood why he’d done it, but standing in front of her, right this second, he hated his decision. He couldn’t share the dirt he’d done. She wouldn’t understand what it had been like for him. No one could. He needed more time with her.
    “I made a few stops on the way. I’ve done some things I’m not proud of, things I despise. But then, who hasn’t?” He tossed her the ball hoping she’d share something first. Anything, just so he’d know she’d be a haven.
    She nodded, looked away as if she were considering something, and then walked toward him. His heartbeat kicked up a notch. He wished he could look away or act as if her response didn’t matter. He’d done that plenty of times with plenty of people. But Kelly’s direct gaze stripped him of pretense, as if he were a student caught lying. He froze when she placed her cool palm on his cheek. His body responded to her nearness. Did she have any idea what she did to him? His cock hurt with need and his thoughts wouldn’t settle.
    “You are an incredible man,” she said into the silence.
    Her words rocked him and tugged at his heart. Outside of sports no one had ever complimented him in such a way that their words held an immediate ring of truth. An invisible link connected their gazes. He wanted to make light of her words, hide how they affected him. His mouth opened in denial.
    “Thank you,” he said instead, sensing gratitude from the pit of his belly. Her lips brushed against his.
    “Why are you hiding? There are no pictures on the walls or in any of the rooms that I saw. Everything is in here.” She leaned back and for long moments the idea of sharing his guilt for his misdeeds teetered on the brim of his lips. The silence continued.
    She stepped back, looking aside, murmuring an apology for intruding.
    Still connected, he moved forward, pulled her into his arms and held her close. His hand stroked up and down her back, he pulled her arms around his neck. A groan escaped his throat at the intimate contact. He pulled her closer and held her tight. So many things bubbled beneath the surface. The need for touch, the need to share the real man before the path he’d chosen changed him, the need for validation and acceptance. He’d been wrong so many times in the past, he couldn’t be wrong now. Not about Kelly. Everything about her rang true. He wanted to take a chance and trust her. But fear had been his constant companion for too long, and he’d grown accustomed to listening to its voice.
    “The condo is my sanctuary. This room is my past, I’m looking forward not behind. I wanted you to see this small