Liar by Joanna Gosse Read Free Book Online

thought China. It must be the caffeine rush.
    "I'm trying to commune with my higher self and your lower self is blocking my view.”
    She considered his erection carefully. Should I give in, or or swat the damn thing out of the way and holler at him to get out?
    Sam waited and watched her argue with her higher self. She likes to pretend she’s had enough but I can know I can coax another scream out of her, thought Sam . She acts like a lady but she secretly likes the warrior behaviour.
    "Hurry up woman,” urged Sam. “The warrior is wilting, it's cold and dry out here."
    "Darling, allow me to help you carry this heavy equipment to a nice, wet, warm place."
    China really had nothing to say this morning anyway. Might as well get some kind of satisfaction.
    "Okay,” said Sam. "If you're sure I'm not disturbing you."
    China was generous in defeat.

    ~ ~

    By the end of the week, China felt as though she’d been run over by a fucking train. The transition from pristine aloneness to clamoring togetherness was hard on her nerves, not to mention her body. She missed Sam terribly when he was gone but wondered why his presence had to be so noisy, messy, and exhausting. He was one big, rude, aboriginal dude. Obviously these attributes had attracted China in the beginning. No, she thought, he was gentler, more willing to play the gentleman, in the beginning.
    She critically observed the extra weight tightening Sam’s jeans and the collar of his shirt, as he sprawled on his belly in front of the television. Since moving to Grimshaw Island he had put on about fifteen pounds and had become more sloppy with his clothing. To be fair, China also dressed very casually. Sartorial splendour was not encouraged by the island lifestyle. High heels and pantyhose had been replaced by jeans and hiking boots. She mused on the changes in their appearance, and their relationship as she lay like liquid on the couch.
    “Sam, in the first few weeks when we lived together, you’d leave the room in order to fart. How come you don’t do that now?”
    “What are you talking about?”
    “We’d be watching TV and you’d get up quite often and stroll out of the room and come back in a few seconds. I finally figured out that you were leaving to fart. I found it quite endearing. Now you lie on the floor and fart in my face.”
    “Familiarity breeds farts, my darling,” Sam replied with a great grin on his face.
    “Are you saying that after a few months of marriage you now feel it’s okay to show your contempt for me?”
    “Farting has absolutely nothing to do with contempt. It is merely a normal bodily function and you should be pleased that I’m now comfortable enough in your presence to ruffle your hair with a small release of wind.”
    China howled with laughter.
    “Ruffle my hair? You great, thundering beast! That recent small release of wind curled the carpet, shrank the pillows on the couch, and ripped my eyelashes off!”
    “Brace yourself, my dear. The wall of China is about to blow into the next millenium!”
    China ran into the kitchen and lit the incense that Sam hated. Why , thought China, are we more polite with total strangers then we are with the people we love?

    ~ ~

    The third night after Sam’s return, China was finally used to Sam’s snoring and fell into a lovely deep sleep. The next thing she knew, she was thrown on her back and Sam was thrusting himself into her.
    “Sam, what the fuck are you doing?” China squealed, trying to shove Sam off her weary body.
    “I’m fucking you.”
    “I told you not to wake me before seven o’clock!”
    “It’s seven o’clock in Newfoundland.”
    “Goddammit! Get off me! That’s it. I’ve had enough.”
    China kicked Sam off, turned on the lamp, grabbed a pen and paper, and thrust it at Sam.
    “I’ve begged you repeatedly to stop waking me up just because you can’t sleep. I’m a mindless rag since you came home. I’m suffering from sleep deprivation. If you don’t quit