birthday ain’t til May, so what occasion did I miss for someone to be sendin’ ya flowers, darlin’?” He asks with a cocked eye brow. I’m sure he knows who sent them, but he’s just gauging me for honesty, which I’ll happily give him at this point.
“Oh those?” I shrug. “They were on my desk when I came in this morning. I think Luke may have sent them, but the card doesn’t say.”
“Well if it doesn’t say who the sender is, what makes ya think Ashton sent them?” He stands, and walks around to the bookshelf, removing the card. “Beauts, huh? That his little pet name for ya?” He asks peering at me, his fierce brown eyes have darkened in anger.
“Friends, Colton. I’ve told you this. ”
“Yeah, I’ve heard it til I’m sick of hearin’ it. Friends.” He sputters with a chuckle.
“I’m not tied to anyone, if you don’t recall. I can have friends as I’ve told you before. Hell, I haven’t even talked to Luke since before Christmas, Colton, when he was here in the office.” Colton’s eyes cast down, as his lip form a hard line. He flexes his hands at his sides, then walks to around the desk.
He stops mid stride, turning to look at me he mumbles, “Are you really gonna do this, Carly Jo?”
“What am I doing, Colton?” I sigh, turning away from my work to focus on him. Thick tension clouds the room, and I have to remind myself that keeping my distance from him for now, will possibly guard his heart.
“You’re pushin’ me away ‘cause you’re scared. I told ya yesterday, I want us to be a family.” He accuses, and he’s right, but it’s the only choice I have in this very moment. I take a minute to think, choosing my words carefully.
“I’m not pushing you away , Colton. I just found out I’m pregnant. We have so many issues to work through before we become anything. I’m just not ready to rush into things.”
“So what has changed since yesterday?”
“Nothing has changed, Colton. I love you, you know this. But I just need to figure out everything before I commit to you.”
“Well, you let me know wh en you got your shit together.” He rips the door open and storms out of my office.
For the last week, I’ve kept my distance from Colton, only speaking to him when absolutely necessary-work related. The tension between us is mutual. He senses my fear of becoming a mom and moving forward with him, but he thinks I don’t trust him with my heart. And he’s right…part of me doesn’t trust him with my heart, but that’s only because deep down inside I know that Colton Weston could destroy me simply by his touch. I’ve always had a weakness for him, it ain’t something that vanishes with ease. Not when you love a person with every ounce of what you are.
Harboring an explosive secret, one that could potentially destroy several lives is enough to tatter any nerves with anticipation and fear. I hate treating him like a rag doll, but in the end when my secret is exposed, I can only pray that he will understand why I tried to protect him.
I still haven’t worked up the courage to talk to Luke, although I don’t expect his reaction to be as ragingly out of control as I expect Colton to react. Thankfully one of the two men in my life knows how to handle me with gentle ease.
Dr. Staton’s office called yesterday and told me they had a cancellation in the schedule for today, so I didn’t even bother going into Simon Energy. Savannah agreed to go with me for my first appointment, and I couldn’t be more grateful for her during this stressful, agonizing time. On the drive to the hospital she gives me a run-down of what to expect for my first appointment. A burst of laughter bubbles from her chest and passes over her lips as she takes in the contorted look of horror on my face as she explains the Pap-Smear process.
“You ain’t gonna pass out on the exam table are ya Carly?” She asks jokingly. I hide my anxiety with a fake smile and small laugh.
“Well