Life Before by Michele Bacon Read Free Book Online

soft.
    “Gretchen would get it, Jill. She also loves U2.”
    “Whatever.”
    “Okay. I’m done talking about this. I’m going to shut up and work on a soundtrack for my date. You read.”
    Jill puts in earbuds while I create the best-ever mix of music for the girl who either is my girlfriend or soon will be.
    I’ve pared down the collection to fifty-three songs when Mom shouts out the kitchen window two hours later. “I’m home!” She pokes her nose into the screen. “Hi Jilly, you staying for dinner? Tacos! And I remembered the limes.”
    I thumb toward the window and mouth, “Dinner?”
    Jill rips out her earbuds. “Yes, please! I need to be home and dressed by 5:15.”
    “No problem. You line up at 5:45, right?”
    Jill nods. “Hey, Helen, I got The Zombie’s Attaché , book 3!”
    She flashes the cover at Mom, who says, “I want that when you’re done. And Xander? I’m feeling gracious today. Yes, you may borrow my car tomorrow.”
    “Mom! Thanks!” I throw open the sliding glass door, run through the dining room, and give her a huge, huge hug that lifts her off the ground.
    “Hot stove,” she says.
    She stirs the beef, staring intently as it browns. Quieter, she says, “And, look, some things are private, but I understand why you did what you did last night. That was a pretty mature thing to do, even though you did it in a really puerile way.”
    “I’m so mad at him right now. This is supposed to be a happy time, and instead he’s pissing in my cornflakes.”
    “Language.” Mom scratches her fingers through my hair the way she has since I was five. “I know you were trying to protect that woman, but you also were angry. You wanted to hurt Gary, and no good can come of that. Acting in anger will lead to a lifetime of regret. Think of it this way: I act out of love and comfort. Gary acts out of anger. You’re half him and half me, and you get to choose which is the better way to live.”
    Her point made, she nods. “You’re a better person than he is, Xander. Remember that at Tulane.”
    Mom tears up a little, and I look away. She wasn’t thrilled when I chose Tulane, but I’ve been jonesing for warm weather as long as I can remember. I mean, visiting all fifty states is on my bucket list for sure, but I only want to live where it’s warm. Every single school on my list was well south of the Mason-Dixon line.
    Tulane was my third choice, but together I’m smart enough, Mom’s broke enough, and Tulane admissions is still hurting enough from Hurricane Katrina that they’re giving me several significant scholarships. Kick. Ass.
    Mom thinks school eleven hundred miles away is less kickass, but she promises to love me anyway.
    Maybe she’s thinking about that when she digs in her purse and presses three twenties— three —into my hand.
    “This isn’t a loan, and it’s not an advance. Consider it a graduation present for you and Gretchen, okay?” She’s tearing up again and I can’t really look at her. “We made it through. You and me. We did okay, right?”
    Mom’s fingers smell of cilantro when she cradles my face in her hands. I hate it when she does this, but she’s so sincere.
    And a little sappy.
    And sixty dollars.
    “You did great, Mom.”
    She stretches her face really long and wipes her eyes with her thumbs. “You made it happen, kid. Even in the rough years—and god, were they rough!—even in the rough years, you made it totally worth it.”
    She hugs me again—one of those hugs that’s so tight and so long that I’m glad Jill is outside.
    “I am so proud of you, College Man!”
    “Almost.”
    “Okay, Mr. Almost. Dinner in about twenty minutes, and then we’ll get changed for the big night.”
    The scent of generic dryer sheets wafts up through the deck as I settle back on the glider next to Jill. She glances at me and I mime a steering wheel and a thumbs up.
    She gives me a high five and I go back to my playlist.
    I’ve been working on it maybe ten minutes