Lighter Shades of Grey
fuck…hard. Secondly, there’s a lot more paperwork to do, and thirdly, you don’t yet know what you’re in for. You could still run for the hills. Come, I want to show you my playroom.”
    “You want to play on your Xbox?” I ask. (p96)
Dear Christian. Just so we’re clear - it doesn’t matter how much paperwork you get Ana to sign, you’re still not allowed to do stuff to her she doesn’t like or want.
Also, she can still talk to anyone she wants, about anything she wants, whenever she wants. So you might as well just get over your bad-ass paperwork self and move straight to the Hard Fucking.
Dear Ana. Since we’re all dropping F-bombs left and right, can I just point out that there is such a thing as being too unbelievably fucking stupid.

Chapters Seven and Eight
    In which Ana explores Christian’s playroom, and Christian explores Ana’s playroom
    No-one expects the Spanish Inquisition
    …it feels like I’ve time-travelled back to…the Spanish Inquisition.
    The first thing I notice is the smell: leather, wood, polish with a faint citrus scent. There is a large wooden cross like an X fastened to the wall facing the door. It’s made of highly-polished mahogany, and there are restraining cuffs at each corner. Above it is an expansive iron grid suspended from the ceiling…from it hand all manner of ropes, chains and shackles…two long, polished, ornately carved poles…hang like curtain rods across the wall. From them swing a startling assortment of paddles, whips, riding crops, and funny-looking feathery implements.
    Beside the door stands a substantial mahogany chest of drawers…In the far corner is an oxblood leather padded bench…There’s a stout six-foot table in the opposite corner…and two matching stools.
    But what dominates the room is the bed. It’s bigger than king size, an ornately carved rococo poster with a flat top. It looks late nineteenth century…there is no bedding…just a mattress covered in red leather and red satin cushions piled at one end. (p98)
    Implements of torture used by the Spanish Inquisition
Suspension devices consisting of a single attachment point, designed to induce a sensation of pain and suffocation
Stuffing the victim’s mouth with cloth and pouring water onto it to induce a sensation of drowning
Wooden frame with rollers and ropes (“the rack”) to stretch people, inducing agonising pain in the joints
    Implements of torture rarely used by the Spanish Inquisition
Suspension devices with multiple attachment points, designed to keep the victim immobile but reasonably comfortable and sexually accessible
Suspension devices made of luxurious and expensive hardwoods, such as mahogany
Paddles
Whips
Riding crops
Funny-looking feathery implements
Polish, especially scented with citrus
Beds, especially those manufactured in the late nineteenth century
Chests of drawers (any material)
Leather benches
Assorted soft furnishings
In fact, pretty much anything in this bloody room
    If only Ana thought this clearly all the time
    I wander to the far corner of the room and pat the waist high padded bench…He likes to hurt women. The thought depresses me. (p100)
    Well, that makes two of us.
    What’s in a name?
    [Ana to Christian] “You’re a sadist?”
    “I’m a Dominant.” (p100)
    You’re a twat.
    Christian shares his views on how intimate relationships work
    “It means I want you to willingly surrender yourself to me, in all things.”
    …“Why would I want to do that?”
    “To please me,” he whispers. (p100)
    Actually, Ana, the point is to please both of you .
    If only one of you is enjoying it, something is seriously wrong.
    No wonder the BDSM community is so angry about this book
    “I have rules, and I want you to comply with them. They are for your benefit and for my pleasure…it’s about gaining your trust and your respect, so you’ll let me exert my will over you. I will gain a great deal of pleasure, joy even, in your submission. The more you submit, the

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