yawning as I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. “I’ll see you in two hours.”
“I’ll be the one cooking your breakfast.”
“GOOD morning, ladies.”
Aric was in a good mood when we joined our mothers a few hours later. After catching up on our sleep, we showered together, which led to a few other things, and it was almost three hours between their disastrous entrance and our triumphant exit.
Huh. Now I see why Aric always thinks I’m so dramatic. Even my thoughts are dramatic.
“Are you two all caught up on your sleep?” Helen asked, her tone clipped.
“Among other things,” Aric replied, moving toward the kitchen. He refused to kowtow to his mother, which I found illuminating and entertaining. “What do you want for breakfast, Zoe?”
“Eggs and hash browns.”
“Do you want sausage or bacon?”
I shrugged. “Surprise me.”
“Wait a second,” Helen said, trailing behind us. “Are you cooking her breakfast again?”
Uh-oh.
“So what?” Aric asked, gathering items from the refrigerator. “Is there something wrong with me cooking breakfast?”
“No, it’s just … I’ve always cooked for you father,” Helen pointed out.
“That’s rich,” Aric said, chuckling. “You don’t cook. I grew up with maids, butlers and chefs. Why are you pretending you cook?”
“I’m not pretending,” Helen snapped. “I do cook. Just because you have convenient memory lapses doesn’t mean I don’t cook.”
“I don’t cook,” I said, hopping up on a stool and accepting the can of Campbell’s tomato juice Aric slid in my direction. “Aric says I’m a menace in the kitchen.”
“That term isn’t reserved for the kitchen alone, but you’re definitely detrimental to the cooking process,” Aric said, dropping a pan on the stove. “How many eggs do you want?”
“Three.”
“You can’t eat that big of a breakfast,” Helen scolded, glancing over her shoulder and sending my mother a silent plea with her eyes. For her part, my mother was doing a great impression of an angry woman. She wanted me to apologize for kicking them out of our bedroom. I didn’t see that happening any time soon, so I ignored her.
“Why can’t I have a big breakfast?” I asked. “I’m hungry.”
“We have a big tasting this afternoon, young lady,” Helen reminded me, causing my stomach to flip. “You need to be able to sample food if you’re going to pick acceptable entrees.”
“You can pick for me,” I said. “I don’t really care now that you took my kebabs and fattoush away.”
“I don’t know what that is, but if it’s a sex reference … .”
“It’s food, Mom,” Aric interjected, shaking his head. “Zoe loves Middle Eastern food. We both do. Believe it or not, we weren’t trying to upset the delicate balance of the universe when we picked that for our wedding dinner. It’s our favorite. That’s why we chose it.”
“Oh,” Helen said, wrinkling her nose. “That’s really neither here nor there. That’s not acceptable food for a wedding. You have no idea whether everyone will be able to tolerate spicy food like that.”
“You have no idea what the food is like so you might not want to comment on it,” Aric said, handing me the loaf of bread. “Pull out four slices please.”
I wordlessly did as he instructed, risking a glance at my mother and earning a “you’re dead to me” look before turning back to Helen. “Can you go in there and tell Satan that I’m not going to apologize so she can just get over herself?”
“No,” Helen said, locking gazes with Aric. “Do you cook breakfast for Zoe every day?”
“Yes.”
“Shouldn’t Zoe cook breakfast for you?” Helen challenged. “She is going to be your wife.”
“I would prefer getting something edible and not risk the house burning down,” Aric replied. “I like to cook. Zoe likes to eat. I can’t believe you of all people is getting worked up about old-fashioned gender