heaven.
âHere,â Noah says. He holds out a long spearâa sharpened stick with a piece of metal at the end of it.
I shake my head. âIâm not going to be able to do this,â I say.
Noah told me how hard fishing is. How few fish there are. Heâs only caught two in a week and has been going every day.
He cups my elbow with his palm. Itâs cool from the water. âYou will,â he says. âTrust me.â
He sets his pack down on the rocks and takes off his shirt. I notice the outline of his torsoâthe way his muscles move like waves down his back.
âYou ready?â he asks, turning to me.
âYeah.â
He stands perfectly still until the water stops moving around him. He holds a spear out in his handâhovering there, like a bird about to dive for prey, and then he plunges it into the water. I gasp, jump back. The stream heaves and sighs with movement and then he pulls out the spear, and sure enough, stuck to the end, is a foot-long silver fish.
âImpressive,â I say.
Noah smiles. âIâve been practicing. There are more every day.â He glances at me when he says it, then back at the water.
I think about all the days this week heâs spent with the tribesmen, the chief. Learning how to be one of them. I think about how things are changing here. Something flares in my stomachâsome specific fearâbut I push it back down where it came from.
Noah hands me the spear. âYour turn.â
âI donât know,â I say. Iâm looking at the fishâs bloody carcass. âI think maybe this isnât my thing.â
âIs eating your thing?â
I roll my eyes and take the spear. Noah comes around behind me. âHere,â he says. He places his hands on my waist. His touch feels electric, and my knees buckle under the contact. âHold it this way.â
He takes the spear and reorients it in my hand, then mimics the motions. Whoosh.
âYou have to be sharp,â he says. âQuick movements, or you wonât catch them in time.â
His hand finds my back. âSee that?â he whispers, pointing downward. I try, but itâs hard to focus on anything with him this close to me.
I follow his gaze to our feet under the water. Three fish swim by lazily. I nod. âYeah.â
I hold the spear low, and then plunge it down when the fish angles left. I close my eyes, but I feel nothing at the endâjust space and rocks.
âGood try,â Noah tells me. He takes his hand off my back and comes to stand next to me. âI think youâre hesitating,â he says. âWhen you see him, you gotta go for it. One split second of fear, and heâs gone for good.â
âI donât blame him,â I say under my breath, and Noah eyes me.
âJust focus,â he says. He takes a deep breath; I follow. Exhale. âGood,â he whispers. âNow what do you see?â
I look down. About two feet over from me is a large silvery fish, about twice the size of the one Noah caught. I donât think. I just lift my spear up and stab. But this time the tip is not met with space and rock. I feel it make contact with something spongy. And then the spear starts to shake in my hand. The fish is trying to squirm away. Iâve caught one.
âI have him!â I scream. Noah and I both look down at the fish. His tail is thrashing furiously, the spear stuck in his side. I have a flash of myself on the beachâthe piece of metal in my ribs.
âIâm sorry,â I say to Noah. I pull the spear out gently, and the fish swims away, a trail of blood behind him.
âYouâre kidding, right?â Noah says. He turns to me, his hands on his hips. âThere goes dinner.â
I point to his two fish on the rocks. âWhat about those?â
âHey,â he says. âDonât you think itâs kind of unfair I have to be the one who kills, while your soul