Loki: Why I Began the End by Maia Jacomus Read Free Book Online

And that was the first time I heard you laugh. It at first shot through my pulse like a dart, then left me weightless. You then explained, “I needed to leave Asgard and feel useful for a change. All I ever used to do as an Aesir was…well, nothing. You know how it is there. Life there is not so much about purpose as it is about pleasure. I was growing bored of it. So when Odin suggested the need for delegation and organization down here, I offered myself for the task.”
         “My daughter appreciates you very much.”
          You then leaned in toward me confidentially and remarked, “To own the truth, Odin was to make Hel my attendant. But she had such natural skill for leadership, that I insisted she take reign. And it has been an honor to serve her.”
         Despite my uncharacteristic shyness at that time, I couldn’t help but take advantage of how close you were to me—I pulled you close to engulf you in a kiss. As expected, you pulled away, struck me across the face, and left the room.
         Then I burst out laughing. I don’t even know why, but I did. It was the strangest thing, but I really couldn’t stop laughing. I think it was a symptom of all the bizarrely new emotions surging through me—they needed an outlet. Because, well, my instinctive outlet had been interrupted by a hand coming at my face.
         When the sting eased, I made another visit. You weren’t afraid of me; didn’t even seem angry at me. We even managed some hours of conversation with each other—I talked about my sons, you talked about my daughter, and we talked about our similar slanted views of Asgard and the Aesir. And it all flowed so easily, like we’d been living in foreign countries all our lives, and finally encountered someone who spoke our native language.
         After hearing so much of Jor and Fenrir, you said how you wanted to meet them, and it immediately became my life goal to see that you were introduced to both of them. Of course, meeting Fenrir meant going to Asgard, which you weren’t too anxious about. But Hel, being the amazing daughter she is, convinced you to go along with me. Maybe that’s one reason not to regret knowing me—because it was obvious that you hadn’t left the underworld in a long time. When we stepped up into Midgard, with sunshine, blue sky, green grass, trees, you came completely to life. You became more animated, more humorous—you even challenged me to footraces several times, cheating a great deal of the time. You did so! But it doesn’t matter, anyway; you could have beaten me without cheating. I could only ever run if it was towards an alehouse or away from a vengeful victim.
         And I was a gentleman the whole time. Okay…okay, yes, there may have been some innuendos, some double entendres, but for the most part, I was a gentleman—as far as I go, anyway.
         Fenrir was happy to meet you. I didn’t think he believed you were an Aesir, either, until I told him. You also insisted on seeing Odin, saying that while in Asgard, he was like a father to you. However much I resent the man now, I do understand that sort of attachment to him. At the time, he was overseeing the construction of a new meadhouse.
          “You’re back just in time, Loki,” he said.
          “What’s all this?” I asked.
          “An honorary afterlife for those who die in battle in my name. It will be called Valhalla.”
         You said, “That’s a lovely name.”
          “Here are the plans.” He unrolled the parchments to show us. “The walls will be made of spears, and the roof of shields. And the gates will be large enough to fit eight hundred men walking side-by-side. All of it gold.”
          “That’s huge,” I remarked. “Are you expecting Jotun?”
         I could tell he didn’t appreciate that joke, but I think I saw you smirk a little.
          “Wait…” I finally realized. “All of it gold? All of it? Where