Louise Rennison_Georgia Nicolson 09 by Stop in the Name of Pants! Read Free Book Online

now.”
    â€œDon’t you want to talk to me?”
    â€œEr, well, not just now, Jas.”
    â€œOh.”
    â€œI’m putting the phone down now.”
    There was a sort of a sobbing noise. Then a trembly little voice said, “Tom and I had our first row last night.”
    Oh for heaven’s bloody sake.
    I said, “What happened, did he dis one of your owls?”
    She was gulping and her voice was all trembly.
    â€œNo, but he said, he said, what did I think about him going to uni in Hamburger-a-gogo land. And I said I didn’t really want to go to Hamburger-a-gogo land, I would rather go to York. And he said that might be a good idea.”
    What is this, EastEnders ?
    thirty minutes later
    Good Lord. I think I know everything that is in Jas’s head now and I tell you this for free, I wish I didn’t.
    Tom thinks they should go to separate unis or something so that they can be sure that they are made for each other. I did say to Jas, “Well, you can safely let him go, what other fool is he going to find to go vole hunting with him?”
    But it didn’t seem to cheer her up as such.
    In the end I’ve said I’ll go round to hers later after the Luuurve God has called.
    God help us one and all.
    one hour later
    I am now officially going mad.
    phone rang
    I said, “Yes! What is it?”
    And then I heard his voice.
    â€œ Ciao , er, is please Georgia there?”
    It was him!!! Praise God and his enormous beard.
    I took a big breath and said, “Hello, yes, Georgia Nicolson speaking.”
    Blimey, why am I suddenly speaking like the queen?
    Masimo laughed.
    â€œ Ciao ciao , Georgia!! Bellissima!!! It is you! Un momento, per favore .”
    Then I heard him speaking off the telephone and laughing and there were other voices and then loud smacking noises like kissing.
    Maybe it was kissing.
    Was he actually snogging someone else whilst he was talking to me?
    That seemed very lax, even for the Pizza-a-gogo types.
    Then suddenly he was back talking to me again.
    â€œOh, cara , scusa , my brothers, my family, they are all going to the beach—later, when it is nightwe are having, how you say in English—a bum-fire?”
    A bum-fire? That seemed a bit mean. Setting people’s bums on fire. But perhaps that is the old Roman ways emerging again.
    Then he was laughing. “You are not saying anything. I have this wrong, no?”
    I said, “ Sì. ”
    And we both laughed.
    It was marvy speaking in different languages.
    He said, “Have you missed me?”
    And I said, “Oh muchos and a half.”
    He laughed again. We were laughing and laughing.
    â€œMe too. How was your camping?”
    Uh-oh. The forbidden topic. I must remember my rule about not saying anything and get things back to world politics and so on as soon as possible. I said, “Oh, it was pretty crappio.”
    He said, “Tell me something from it.”
    â€œWell, you know not much happened. Erm, Nauseating P. Green fell into the so-called toilets and it fell down and Miss Wilson was in the nuddy-pants having a shower with her soap on a rope. And then later Herr Kamyer sat on her kneeand that was all that happened.”
    He said, “I have, how you would say, the mad girlfriend.”
    Oooooh, he had called me his mad girlfriend. How cool was that?
    We talked for ages. Well, I said stuff and he asked me what it meant mostly. I wish I could speak more Pizza-a-gogo. It’s more difficult speaking to someone on the phone, anyway, because you can’t see their face. And then he asked me when I am coming over to see him.
    Good point, well made.
    I haven’t even asked my parents about the 500 squids I will need. If they would stop banging on about themselves I might get a chance to ask. I didn’t like to say that I didn’t have any money, so I just said, “I think, probably in two, due weeks.”
    He said, “Ah, that is long, I wish you