Love for Now by Anthony Wilson Read Free Book Online

worn over the ones she had on already, including gloves, headgear like a shower-cap, and a mask.
    ‘What are those for?’ I asked.
    She hesitated for a second. ‘Well, as you know, you know, it’s pretty poisonous stuff we’re giving you. We wouldn’t want it going anywhere. If we spilled any we’d have to close the whole ward down. It would take a whole day to clean up.’
    ‘They’re that nasty are they?’
    ‘They are indeed.’
    And the subject was closed.
    I was ushered into a large green reclining armchair. A pillow was placed under my arm and my blood taken. Nadine poured onto the table next to me twenty tiny cherry red capsules and a beaker of milk to wash them down with.
    ‘Milk?’ I said.
    ‘They’re your steroids. You’re supposed to take them with food, but we find a glass of milk’s just as good. You take twenty of these each day for the next five days, first thing in the morning.’
    ‘At breakfast?’
    ‘That’s right, steroids for breakfast.’
    As I began swallowing them down a large package arrived, wrapped in voluminous amounts of protective plastic packaging. Nadine swivelled to Karl and read him the label out loud. After each line she paused, while he also read it, then he too read each item, my name, address, date of birth and hospital number out loud, followed by the litany of the drugs they were about to inject into me: Cylcophosphamide, Hydroxy-daunorubicin and Oncovin.
    Next Nadine tipped out two Paracetamol, handing me a beaker of water.
    ‘What’s this for?’ I said. ‘I haven’t got a headache.’
    ‘Oh, we find it helps people when we start the injections. It takes the pain away.’
    ‘Pain?’
    ‘Pain, yes. In your arms.’
    ‘Right.’
    She began attaching the first needle.
    ‘But before anything else, we give you one of these as well, to take the edge of it all.’
    ‘What is it?’
    ‘Piriton.’
    ‘The antihistamine? Like for hay fever?’
    ‘Like for hay fever, yes.’
    ‘What’s it do?’
    ‘Sends you away with the fairies, basically.’
    I looked at her.
    ‘This isn’t going to be fun, is it?’
    To her credit, she held my eye without flinching. ‘No, my dear, it isn’t.’
24 February
    Yesterday was raw, sleet in the air, trees black with wet against the grey sky. Rawness everywhere. Today it is trying to snow and Shimi has been for a toboggan on the moor with Sam.
     
    We spent the day being just the two of us, mooching at home, lunch in town, shopping, then back for supper and a vid. Merenna and Shimi out the whole day, with Vix, being treated. Found I had energy, so used it.
    Went to Zizzi’s, for a very good pizza, an asparagus special with mozzarella etc. for Tats. Nattered about my family, who seem to want hourly updates and are more than keen to come down at every opportunity. Slight tension in the air at the house today because of it, not because Tatty and I disagree, but because we do agree and it’s really my call to make and I don’t want to upset them.
    What they won’t know until we tell them is that Tatty is an inch away from being signed off with stress; that the phone does not stop ringing; that Merenna is viral/post-viral and is not better yet, despite having had two weeks off; and that we just want to go on being normal. I certainly don’t want them coming down the day of the treatment and watch me being injected. For one thing, it’ll be painful for them, another, boring. If I suddenly get ill, then yes, please, come, otherwise can you just come for the day and possibly break the journey with Rich in Bath? It sounds awful even thinking it, let alone writing it down. But it is the truth, and we have to tell it.
    Am being a good boy, eating my fruit and drinking mywater and not worrying about my calories, as Nadine said. Lunch today from Nat Thomas (10 points for no dishes to return): tortilla wraps with grated cheese, refried beans, guacamole and sour cream. ‘The best we’ve had so far’, pronounced Tats.
    Lots of funny