Love Is Blind by Kathy Lette Read Free Book Online

nesting burst into flames.
    ‘Well, I’ll be blowed!’ Jacko marvelled. ‘A bolt from the blue. I’ve never seen that before. Quite an awesome event.’
    ‘A bolt from the what?’
    ‘A lightning strike. Without a storm. A bolt from the blue … Pretty much like your sister coming into my life when I least expected it.’ He smiled.
    Before Anthea had time to reply to his comment, Jacko lunged at her. He started ripping at the row of buttons running down the front of her dress.
    ‘What the hell do you think you’re doing? Get off me, you pervert …’ She slapped at his hands. ‘Unless you’d prefer to be separated from your scrotum.’
    ‘Get your bra off!’ he commanded.
    Anthea dug her nails into the skin of his forearm. ‘Get away from me!’ Panic rose in her chest. She kicked out in the direction of his groin. ‘Or you’ll be auditioning for the Vienna Boys’ Choir. I am not kidding.’
    ‘Underwire.’
    ‘What?’
    ‘Underwire. In your bra. If lightning strikes again, it could electrocute you.’
    Jacko ruched her dress up at the back. In one deft movement, he reached up, unhooked her bra and slipped the straps down over her shoulders. He then groped up the front of her frock and pulled the lacy white bra free, flinging it into the raging river.
    Anthea felt relieved that he wasn’t groping her, but also indignant at his total control. She reacted the only way she knew how, with barbed banter. ‘I don’t care if I get electrocuted. Just don’t come near me again! You Outback blokes may be starved for female affection but, believe me, seeing you naked would almost certainly turn me into a lesbian.’
    A sound like a gunshot cracked through the air, making her jump. ‘What is it
now
?’ she wailed.
    ‘Gum nuts. It’s the eucalyptus oil in the trees. Makes them explode. The tinder’s so dry the whole place could go up in smoke in an instant.’ Jacko licked his finger and held it aloft. ‘But we’re okay. Don’t worry. The wind’s not blowing in this direction.’
    No sooner had he finished speaking than the bush on the hill above them ignited. Gum nuts started exploding everywhere like grenades. As a wall of heat rose up, birds bickered and raced for safety. The crows wailed like alley cats. A few moments later it was like a scene from a biblical plague. Snakes, lizards, birds, kangaroos, wallabies and wombats all started twisting, writhing, bounding and scrabbling down the side of the hill.
    ‘The wind will push the fire east, if we’re lucky.’
    ‘Lucky! Luck has nothing to do with it! Planning. That’s what’s missing here. Planning is a vital component of any trip … Just ask Scott of the Antarctic,’ she said hysterically.
    ‘Shut up,’ Jacko barked.
    ‘Don’t tell me to shut up.’ She glared at him resentfully. Okay, he might have saved her life once or twice in the past hour, but the man really was insufferable. ‘Why is it that every time you talk, I get an overwhelming urge to be alone …’
    ‘Plane!’ he yelled.
    Jacko and Anthea lifted their arms into the air simultaneously, as though doing an aerobics class.
    Jacko ripped off his white shirt. He ran to the highest point that wasn’t ablaze and started waving the shirt wildly above his head. Anthea couldn’t help but notice his taut abdomen and muscular physique. He was surprisingly agile and fit for a man his age.
    ‘How will we know if the pilot’s seen us!’ she cried.
    ‘He’ll dip one wing.’
    Jacko kept waving frantically. Anthea now joined him, moving her arms like the sails of a windmill. Her hopes had risen nearly as high as the small silver plane.
    ‘Dip, you bastard. Dip!’ Jacko urged.
    She squinted against the sun to follow the plane’s progress through the big, broad sky. Jacko kept jumping up and down and waving his improvised flag. But no matter how hard she willed the pilot to see them, the plane veered left and moved away.
    ‘Bugger it. The pilot’s too busy getting away from the