Love & Loss by C. J. Fallowfield Read Free Book Online

remember grappling with Doug, as I lay there with him pinning me to the ground I heard him asking you if I’d hurt you … it was like a moment of clarity, like I just suddenly realised that I wasn’t myself … to have scared you like that … I just knew I needed help, I think I went into some kind of shocked daze as I tried to process it. I’ve seen Dr Jarvis four times already and I’m on antidepressants and some other meds and I’m going to get better Mia. Even if you find that you can’t trust me to stay with me, I’m going to do it for you. I don’t ever want to hurt you or see you look at me again the way you did on Sunday, it just killed me.’
    ‘I don’t want us to argue now Gabe and I understand that this PTSD has made you worse, I really do and I don’t want to keep going over old ground, but I need you to be really clear that just because we’re sitting here together now, it can’t keep happening. You can’t keep trying to control my life like that, you’ll push me away if you keep doing it.’
    ‘I know that now Mia, but if you’re not going to set me off again you need to prove to me that you’re not being reckless. I need to trust that you’ll look after yourself, you were out alone again yesterday, running in the dark. That’s unacceptable, even without a serial killer on the loose and that’s the case whether I have a condition or not,’ he said firmly. I nodded my head, he was right on that, I did need to take more care of myself and if I hadn’t registered how upsetting it was for him when I didn’t, it was in black and white now.
    ‘So if we both agree to each other’s terms are we saying that we’re going to give this another go?’ I asked as I looked at him.
    ‘I want to Mia, but I want you to take some time to really consider if it’s what you want, if I’m good for you.’
    ‘I don’t need time Gabe, you need me and I need you and as long as we agree to work on our problems without screaming at each other, then I’m in. It works both ways though. Maybe you need to take some time to think it over? I’m a stubborn argumentative bitch sometimes and I wind you up too,’ I stated sincerely as I held his gaze. He laughed and ran his fingers down my cheek.
    ‘I don’t need time to think either Mia, I want you, all of you. You are stubborn and argumentative baby, but never a bitch. You’re my little firecracker.’
    ‘Your little firecracker,’ I repeated, I liked that. As I looked at him I felt my chest expand. His beautiful lips were slightly parted and I wanted nothing more than to grasp his face and kiss him.
    ‘Don’t,’ he whispered.
    ‘What?’ I asked as I reached up and ran my fingers around his bruised eye and down to brush his lips.
    ‘Don’t look at me like that. I want you so badly. It’s bad enough that I haven’t seen you in days, but you’re sitting on my lap in some seriously skimpy and sexy lingerie.’
    ‘I’ve missed you,’ I sighed as I gazed into his eyes, which had gone a darker shade of blue. I could feel his breathing had gone deeper and faster, and his erection hadn’t subsided at all.
    ‘I missed you too, but we agreed baby, no sex for now.’
    ‘I can’t even kiss you still?’ I pouted.
    ‘I don’t know if I could hold back if you did Mia,’ he sighed and brushed my fringe out of the way. ‘Besides you need to get dressed and ready. Riley will be here at ten to pick you up.’
    ‘What?’ I sat upright, confused.
    ‘You and Lexi are going away for the weekend, Riley’s coming to collect you from here then picking Lexi up. You’ll be home Sunday by about five.’
    ‘What do you mean we’re going away?’
    ‘I felt so bad for everything that went down Sunday and wanted to make it up to both of you, so I booked you a spa break. It includes treatments and all your food too, so don’t worry about paying for anything. It will do you good to have a rest and be pampered and catch up with your best friend, you’ve had a