swears no. He’s going to explain the whole thing to me this Wednesday before I give my final answer.”
I still didn’t know where we were meeting. Steve was supposed to text me and let me know, but I hadn’t heard from him yet.
“But Foresthill , Nor.” Lisa looked at me like she was pleading. “I feel terrible about last night. I never should have pushed you into having a party. You’ve been so strong the last couple of years. I guess I thought you had a handle on…things.”
“I want to do this. I have to get out from under these loans. Did you know Stacey got 2310 on her SAT?”
“Shit. No,” Lisa said. “I guess that private high school paid off.”
“She didn’t tell me either. I was putting laundry away in her room a few months ago, and her score was lying on her dresser. She could go to college anywhere, but she’s settling for Sierra for her first two years to save money. It makes me sick.”
“What’s wrong with community college?” Lisa said. “You and I went to Sierra our first two years. It was fine.”
“We didn’t want to be doctors. We didn’t have 2300 on our SATs.”
I didn’t mention that I had 2270. My parents were always big on school. My brother Danny had carried on the tradition with his daughter Stacey.
“Stacey didn’t even apply anywhere else,” I said.
“She probably knew you’d take on more debt to help her pay for it.” Lisa said. “I don’t understand you. You paid your way. She should too.”
“No,” I said. Lisa was right. Why shouldn’t Stacey load up with student debt like everyone else in our generation? If she did become a doctor, she could pay them back. But dammit to hell! I hated the idea. Were we put on this earth to be wage slaves for the banks?
Lisa put away her toothbrush, and I saw her frown in the mirror.
“What?” I said. It was the face she wore when she had an opinion she knew I wasn’t going to like. “Say it.”
She turned around and faced me. “You could sell this house.”
“No.”
“I know it has sentimental value,” she said. “I understand that, Nor , better than anybody.”
“No.” I turned to go, but she grabbed my arm.
“Even with the real estate crash, you could still get seven or eight hundred thousand for it. You could pay off your loans and buy a smaller place, free and clear.” She spoke gently, and it was all common sense advice. But each word drove a dagger into my heart.
I barely squeaked out a “no” as I opened the door and headed down the hall back to my bedroom.
How could I sell Grandma’s house? My mom grew up here. There was Mom’s wisteria by the kitchen window and Indian Rock. Danny named that rock. As long as we had this house, Stacey and I still had some part of our family. I could never sell it. I’d rather face Foresthill.
I hit my bedroom door handle with a clenched fist. The muscles in my shoulders were tight as hell, and I noticed the spasms in the back of my neck like hot crawling worms. I forced my hands open and pressed my palms flat against the door to stretch them.
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
J.D. wasn’t in the bedroom and his clothes were gone. My heart dropped. I wanted to see him again alone. Touch him. Kiss him. I’d suggest we take our coffee out to the flower garden.
I changed from my pajamas to a pair of shorts and a tank top and ran the brush through my hair. After a few more relaxing breaths I went out to the kitchen, but Frank was the only one there.
“Hey, Nora. J.D. said to tell you goodbye. You just missed him.” Frank held up a plate of cinnamon rolls. “Want one?”
“In a minute.”
I ran to the front of the house to the big picture window in the living room in time to see J.D. in the driveway, riding away on that funky bike of his. I wanted to race out the front door and tear across the front lawn after him, but I stayed at the window and watched him go.
Stop. I can’t. His words from last night rang in my ears.
I shouldn’t be
Catherine Gilbert Murdock