Lucky Stars by Jane Heller Read Free Book Online

critic isn’t the end of the world.
    It was an “up” just to watch Maura bustling around in her new house. Thanks to her steady work on Days and her occasional freelance gigs on movie sets, she earned a decent living as a makeup artist and was able to buy a house—the kind of security struggling actresses would kill for. Her place, a Spanish-style three-bedroom in Burbank, needed a little TLC, but she was committed to fixing it up and had already replaced the avocado shag carpet in the living room.
    “The kitchen cabinets are next,” she said as she handed me an iced tea. “I’m not wild about the orange Formica.”
    “I admit I won’t be sorry to see them go,” I said. That was another thing about Maura: she was a doer. She made the most of everything—whether it was a house or a guy. Yes, she had a father complex and dated men who were certified geezers, but she saw the good in all of them, even the ones who couldn’t get it up without the Viagra. “So. How’s l ife at the show?”
    “Crazy as ever,” she said. “We’re doing sort of a science fiction story line where Deirdre Hall, Kristian Alfonso, and some of the other cast members have to age forty years. It’s tougher than the usual stuff, but I love it . It makes me feel like a magician.”
    “You are a magician.” Maura was wonderfully talented. Never mind how she transformed me with her makeup brush now and then; she could render actors unrecognizable, because, unlike most people in her field, she knew how to work with prosthetics and wigs and wardrobes, having gotten her start on one of the Planet of the Apes films. When Maura Lasky gave you a makeover, you got a makeover!
    “How’s everything with your mother?” she asked after we’d moved outside, onto her patio, and sat down.
    “Same answer as yours: crazy as ever,” I said. “She needs to get a life, Maura. She really, really needs to get a life. She’s smart and energetic and she should be doing something meaningfu l instead of nagging me twenty- four/seven. I wish I could make her see that.”
    “Sounds like she should apply for a job.”
    “Exactly. She’s a college graduate, with a degree in education. She’s well-spoke n, if you don’t count the fingern ails-on-the-blackboard voice. She’s domineering, as we know, but she’s not a bad caretaker. And she’s amazingly organized. She’d make a terrific office manager, for example.”
    “Hey, that’s a thought, Stacey. Why don’t I ask my producer if there’s an opening in the production department at Days ? Maybe your mother would enjoy working in the wacky world of television.”
    “My mother?” I shook my head. “She despises show business. She’s made that clear to me over and over. No, she has to find something practical, like a position in a marketing research firm. Or maybe a doctor’s office.”
    “I’ve got just the spot for her.” Maura laughed. “How about getting her a job at a prison? She’d be the perfect warden, wouldn’t she?”
    I laughed, too. “She’d be totally in her element as a warden, bossing all the inmates around, sticking them in solitary confinement if they messed up, forcing them to listen to her consumer complaint rants, like all the reasons why she prefers Quilted Northern toilet paper over Cottonelle.”
    “Speaking of jobs , ” said Maura, her tone turning serious, “have you gotten any lately?”
    I reported on my flameouts with the Tide commercial, the Midol commercial, and the Tic Tac commercial. “I’m supposed to go out for a Maidenform commercial next week, but the way things are going, I doubt I’ll get it.”
    “Hey, that’s not the Stacey Reiser I know. You’ve got to stay positive.”
    “I usually do stay positive, but the bras they’re advertising are their soft cup line. I think you need actual breasts to wear them.”
    She smiled. “There’ll be other commercials then. There always are.”
    Dear Maura. As I said, she was my rock.
     
     
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