Lust Is the Thorn by Jen McLaughlin Read Free Book Online Page B

winced, cradling my arm. “Yeah. I…I know.”
    “What did he do to you last night?”
    “Nothing.” I bit my lip. “I’m fine. Just shaken up.”
    He clasped my face, swallowing hard. “You don’t have to pretend to be okay for me. You can let me in. Show me what you’re thinking.”
    I wanted to.
God,
I wanted to. But if I leaned on him, and told him all my secrets and fears, it would only be that much harder to watch him start his bright and shiny life without me. And he would love that life. Guys like Thorn were meant for bigger things than this. Than
me
.
    So I couldn’t afford to need him.
    “You know who I am, and you know how tough I am. I won’t let some guy with a Napoleon complex drag me down. I’m fine.” I paused at his frown. “I’ll
be
fine.”
    Shaking his head, he let out what sounded like a soft curse, curled his hand behind my neck, and pulled me into his embrace. He held me tightly, resting his cheek on my head, and let out a long breath. He smelled like cologne and Old Spice deodorant, and his hard chest under my cheek felt like heaven. It would have been so easy to burrow into him and let him protect me. It would have been so easy to forget who I was, and who he was, and just lean on him for once. To not be alone.
    But the thing about being alone is, you get used to it. To never having someone there when you come home. To never having someone bring you hot chocolate or chicken soup when you are sick. Being alone becomes almost comforting after a while. Like you’ve almost forgotten what it is like not to be lonely. The second you let someone in, though, and they leave? God, you remember just how badly it sucked ass to have no one in your life who cared whether you lived or died.
    I learned
that
lesson the hard way.
    He massaged my scalp, and my lids drifted shut for a second. “I’m here for you, Rose.”
    “I know.” I gritted my teeth and pushed off him. “But like I said, I can take care of myself. I’m good at it.”
    His shirt rode up, baring my black lace panties, and I started to yank it back down, but changed my mind. He’d seen me like this numerous times and it had never had an effect on him, so the only one in this room worrying was me. And I didn’t give a damn about my underwear.
    “Fine.” He dropped to his knees next to the tub, grabbing the handheld showerhead with his left hand. “Sit down.”
    I glowered at him. “You’re being bossy.”
    “Yep. Now sit.” He eyed me, his voice full of an unspoken demand that I unconsciously obeyed.
“Now.”
    My butt hit the bottom of the tub before I even realized I was going to obey. “Geez. Where’d you pick up that tone of voice?”
    “School. Rest your arm on the side of the tub.” I did as I was told. “Good girl.” His grip on my other arm tightened, but he didn’t hold me tight enough to hurt. His touch was gentle. Kind. It made my vision blur with tears of gratitude, because I knew with Thorn I was always safe. He always had my back. “Now tip back your head. I’m going to use the handheld showerhead to get you nice and wet.”
    I did as told, pressing my lips together, and tried to relax my aching, abused muscles. As his fingers massaged my scalp again, I fought the urge to lean into him. “God, I feel like I’m a little kid again.”
    “When did you ever stop acting like a kid?” he asked, gathering my hair and squeezing. “I must’ve missed it.”
    “Go fuck yourself,” I gritted out.
    “I’m not allowed.”
    I laughed at that. I couldn’t help it. “But do you ever do it any—?”
    “Oops.” He jerked the showerhead forward, sending water trickling down my face and into my eyes. “Sorry.”
    I spluttered, blinking away the water. “Yeah. Sure you are.”
    He lowered his face to mine, nose to nose, and shot me a cocky grin. I knew he was putting on a show, trying to make me feel better by teasing me, but even though I knew that and tried to resist, it worked. Maybe because he cared